We love it...

While doing something for a while
You forget to keep track of time
You miss something very important
But you don't get upset

You love it.

While watching a movie alone
Laughing out loudly you roll on floor
You feel like crazy and mad
Don't behave like a sensible lad

You love it.

While watching a movie scene you start cry
You don't pretend to be strong or even try
Your eyes get wet with tears
On your cheek while they roll
You feel a cold sensation
But you don't wipe them out

You love it.

While you experiment with some new dish
You forget to add salt or it taste as you wish
You smile and don't get angry on your fault
Or you burn vegetable while cooking
It doesn't come out as you were aiming
You don't feel bad while eating

You love it.

As a kid when you wake up midnight
There is no one near to your bedside
You feel like walking to washroom
Scared as thinking of a character creepy
You pull the bed sheet to cover your face
You think it as a most horrified case

You love it.

While playing with a small kid
You draw few lines on her palm
An deformed flower or her name
Something she don't even understand
But she feels happy and brings smile
Shows it to every one around
Like a precious gift she has found
Which you can't even describe

You love it..

You return home after long time
Your pet dog comes around running
You feel the most special bonding
Jumps on your feet and body
Licks your finger and makes cloth dirty
But you don't even get angry

You love it.

You seed some plant
After long time you see its leaf
It grows some flower or some fruit
Its small but looking innocent and cute
It won't be enough for you to use
But you feel excited with joy

You love it.

While playing a game with small kids
Losing to them you think is a worthwhile
You lose the game but you smile
You get a beating but don't get serious
Kids are excited and you feel joyous

You love it..

While you are cleaning your room
You find a old diary of old days
Reading few lines you turn few pages
Naive and innocent words without any senses
Or a dried flower between the pages
Memory flashes and you remember few faces

You love it..

You listen few lines of an old song
Now its too old and outdated
You have not listened it since ages
While trying to remember next few lines
You connect yourself with some old sight
Unable to recall words you give a smile

You love it...


(© Rakesh Kumar Mar 2009)

Burn out before it fade away...

I want to keep this burning
Before it fades away
I don't know why
Its not that I didn't question myself

But then I realized...

I am too addicted to come out of it
I am afraid that if it dies out
I wouldn't be the same

Even though I know that...

There is nothing for me there
The joy of burning
May be I want to live in this dream
And one day it will be broken
My entity will be shaken

But..

I am addicted to this poison
I want to burn with it
Its better to burn out than fade away...

What is real...

"None of this is real. You pull the plug I disappear. Nothing I ever say, nothing I ever do whatever matters. Why don't you find my user." said Hog. The character in '13Th Floor, movie when he realizes that he is just a computer simulation and not real.

There are 3 movie I remember made on computer world, virtual reality and simulation which raises the question about reality. They are 'Matrix', '13Th Floor' and 'ExistEnz'. I think all were released around same time.

The question remains what is real. what is virtual? I think both are complementary, When reality doesn't exist its virtual, like absence of light is dark. Can I say whatever I feel, whatever I do, whatever my senses tells to mind is real. Is it reality? (Gita: Everything is MAYA). Imagine one day getting up in the morning and only finding just few things we were believing since years doesn't exist in the same form, be it trust on someone, belief, love, person anything. How does it feels afterwards knowing what our beliefs were not true, what have seen were not true, your feeling, love, relationship, person are not in the same form, what you considered doesn't exist same way. It may be perception, things that your were holding about something does not existing in the same way. How do we react. When we find whatever we were holding is false and now exist in different form. If we look only to our self we will find such moment exist in our life too. Everynone must have already faced it. Remember How did it feel then, how we reacted. I am sure its not easy to accept them easily and those were hard time and what about the world we live, about our whole life when we find this existence is not real.. Its not easy...

If I Could Answer...

If I could answer why I feel about you so much
But you will never understand as such

If I could answer why you the one I care
But to walk towards you I feel scare

If I could answer why I want so many things to share
The time when I don't think about you is rare

If I could answer why I am sad when you are not around
I keep on searching you all the places to found

If I could answer why I want so many things to add
Even just your passing by make me feel glad

If I could answer why your smile make me forget pain
Like after a hot summer first monsoon rain

If I could answer why i feel talking to you endlessly
But I forget my words and become unknown entity

If I could answer why on you I have all my trust
I want your presence in my life always must

If I could answer why I dream about you day and night
you are the only reason for me to be delight

If I could answer why you are reason for being me alive
Without you there won't be any meaning to my life

(© Rakesh Kumar)

Gulaal-- A movie about Love, Power, Betrayal

I happened to watch latest movie Gullal by Anurag Kashyap on Saturday late night show. This is thought-provoking and has the power to engage us at various points of the narrative. The movie is different and beside some loose script at few places the movie is well made with some excellent acting and songs. It highlights student politics its aspirations and exploitation and also concept of revolution about a idea whom some one believes but at the same time how some one uses others for their own personal interest. Again not everyone has revolutionary ideas and leadership and if you have , you have to fit others in to your plan and i dont think its bad obviously we have to make small sacrifices for big cause. Also if you are not busy making your own plan you have to fit into someone else plan. So get busy making your own plan. The movie depict real picture of college politics and issue and dilemma faced by people who were king before independence and who had lost their power and also about college ragging too. I happened to see similar politics with full of violence, rage and hate when i was in Allahabad university and there i faced some hard ragging too.

Something about the song of the movie, some are freaky and witty and some are really from the heart of true poet i don't know who is writer. Now days there very few poet are left who write 'Veer Ras' poem specially about Rajashthan and Rajput I remember some in my school days were Shubhadra kumari chahuhan, Shaym narayan pandey etc. reading those i used to feel very passionate and excited. now a days no one writes about bravery and 'Desh Prem'

Few lines from movie songs..

Aarambh hai prachand
bole mastakon ke jhuund
aaj jang ki ghadi ki tum guhaar do -2
aan baan shaan yaa ki jaan kaa ho daan
aaj ik dhanuSh ke baan pe utaar do -2
aarambh hai prachand

Something about current status of this world

alsaayi sejo ke phoolon ki duniya oh duniya re
angdaayi tode kabootar ki duniya oh duniya re
aye karwat le soyi haqeeqat ki duniya oh duniya
deewani hoti tabiyat ki duniya oh duniya
khwaahish mein lipti zaroorat ki duniya oh duniya re
heyyy insaan ke sapno ki niyat ki duniya oh duniya
oh ri duniya aaa… oh ri duniya
oh ri duniya aaa… oh ri duniya
yeh duniya agar mil bhi jaaye to kya hai?

and some freaky lines

जैसे हरेक बात पे डैमोक्रसी मे लगने लग गयो बैन
जैसे दूर देस के टावर में घुस जाये रे एरोप्लेन
जैसे सरेआम इराक़ में जाके जम गये अंकल सैम
जैसे बिना बात अफ़गानिस्तां का बज गया भय्या बैण्ड

IPL minus india...

This unfortunate for us, the people of India. The game of cricket which is like religion to us and IPL, One of the exciting product of India is moving out of India for season 2009. We will not be watching our heroes playing here in India. Its sad and unfortunate for the cricket fan like me and Indian people. There will be lot of discussion now on who is responsible and why it happened but its very sad and unfortunate. Specially the reason given behind is security problem and General election. Really India is a country with unique set of problems with some silly and laughable. Its like holding English premier league matches in India because of cold weather conditions.

The great Indian democracy has started making me feel like a cheap creature as this is dictating each and everything in my life. This is bullshit however at the same time i feel both happy and sad. Happy because we people of this country deserve such kind of treatment and responsible for our own fate and sad that I cant feel secure in our own country and also personally I would not be attending any match live and this year i was planning to take my father to watch few matches here in Bangalore. The stupid reason given that govt. can not provide security is laughable and shows incompetency of our leaders and and failure of our system. By moving matches we accepted we are not secure in our own motherland. Since govt cant provide security to its citizen then who will provide me security and make me feel safe. Isn't my fundamental right to live in secure and safe society when i am paying so much taxes to govt. In which place in India I should feel safe when our system is like this. We are unable to safeguard our hotel, monuments, buses, temple, market, train city, people. So what kind of security govt is talking about. We have never been secure earlier either. Its complete bullshit and every Indian is fully aware that police who is now saying that they are unable to protect us (which was never the case before, useless dept.) is single source of corruption and most crime happens below its nose and most of the time they are aware about things. Our police system has been a failure and it was obvious long back. Whenever i need to visit police station I feel scared and terrified ( so does every on else) why? We are talking about these police to provide security to us. The major loss will be to these police dept man when they will not be able black ticket and provide back door entry to to fans for money. Other reason is General election....our pride is shifted because of this election. which is process of choosing some bugger who will go fight and abuse in Parliament and waste our hard earned money and we don't have any other options besides hopelessly vote them. If I cant do what I want to do in India my own country where I am suppose to do? Am I living in my own country. This is a issue of national pride. Not about safety and security and result of a failed democracy and product of it, our govt is bunch of joker which has nothing to do with citizen's interest and country's pride. I think BCCI is right in shifting this tournament the way these politicians were treating IPL since last few days and it was pathetic and disheartening. The govt. is not bothered about pride, growth but are trying to safe guard its own petty interest of politicians I am sure those who really interested in cricket will really bother about going to vote to select these bunch of jokers. Live long Indian democracy and helpless citizens....

Dedicated to my 'Papa'

This poem is dedicated to my Papa. I wrote it only for him. He carried me further than what i had ever realized. These few lines below are too little to consider....

You carried me further than what I had realized
Gave me your valuable experience, guidance and advised

You gave me best what you could ever provide
You brought me to smile whenever I had cried

I remember the days when we used to play
Whether its Carom, Football or Hockey

You used to be back and I as goal keeper
With you in my team I used to feel braver

Or you as defense and I as forward attacker
I was able to write many victorious chapter

Your words of encouragement lifted me upbeat
Some times it was harsh and sometimes sweet

I was a rough, blunt, naughty and rude
I was a child with most difficult attitude

You are the reason what I am today
I was lucky to have your words to obey

You are behind my every laugh and success
You always gave me best things in life to access

Like a coconut hard outside and soft inside
There so many things I want here to describe

You were the father and not a friend
That why my bad ways could amend

Now I have grown with thinking of my own
But I am still walking on the path you shown

The distance you covered always inspired
I found you in my life the most admired

Now I feel sad seeing you grown old
I want to play with you hockey once again

You have been a hero and will always remain
Seeing you as old I feel deep inside pain

There is so much for you to see and share
When I reach on top I want you to be there.

Papa, you carried me further than what I had realized
There are so many things I still needed to be apprised


(© Rakesh Kumar, March 2009)

About Indian TV News Channels

Now a days watching News, specially Indian TV news channels is about polluting and corrupting our mind. Its similar to being under influence of certain drug where you feel extreme emotions. I can't believe standard of television media and journalism has gone to such a low level in India. Now a days news items are like Amir khan birthday and how many gift he had received since morning or Kareena kiss on Saif neck or running commentary about no. of hours four year old Prince had spent fighting for life in bore well after he had fallen and some breaking headlines are Lalu's daughter's intimate friendship with friend who drowned in well two days back, Ten SMSes of Fiza received from her lover minister or what Benzir Bhutto like about India after her death and now since she has died she is most liberal Pakistani leader and depicted as martyr and a loss to India. I doubt whether this beautiful anchor who was debating her death as great sacrifice has an element of brain in his head and has she ever spent few minute reading at least few pages of her autobiography 'Daughter of East' and the amount of hate about India expressed there.
Now a days media is talking about its liberation and freedom but are the news channel are really free by themselves. Are not they bound by several interests. Isn't journalism now a days is pure business and truth and facts are molded in different shape and sizes just to gain cheap TRP rating. Are they producing really truth? Isn't this sacred profession has lost its meaning and not polluted. Are these channels are mirrors of the society? Are they really trying to bring common man problem and depict things as they are? Answer to all these question according to me is big NO.
Are the news produced is free from commercial interest and are not they produced keeping a certain audience and interest in mind? How can they say their journalism/profession is about truth and its ethical. They have already bounded by so many mean interests and the ultimate things coming to us is anything but the truth. I don't understand what kind of ethics these journalist follows. They must have taken oath at the end of their education/degree. Do they really have any limit beyond which they they think that they should not cross into some one's personal space. Do they have any idea what to telecast and what not. They think they are the most powerful and can serve any thing they want in people rooms and poison someone mind with all baseless stuffs. Slowly I have drifted from these news channel and i feel watching them is wasting my time and energy both. I don't know is there any criteria or categories under which these news channels news falls. Calling what these channels are telecasting news is a big joke. Sometimes I feel that these news are more interesting than a typical Bollywood movie and their news produced contains twist and emotions of typical Saas Bahu serial.

For me watching news in childhood was getting closer to truth adopting a scientific way of thinking and practices life breaking away with old age bondage, practices and blind faiths. It was about enhancing my general knowledge. Knowing what is happening in the world and current affairs. Are these news channels now are meeting any one of these purpose. I still remember that 8:40 night news sound on DD1 when I used to stopped my study and start my dinner and those 20 minute of news was more than sufficient to know each and everything about world, India and i never needed a news paper during those days. It was mandatory for me to watch daily otherwise a big lecture and set of questions from my father were ready on the importance of knowing current affairs and GK. Those 20 minute has definitely help me get aware about thing happening from parliament to the world and those were logical, verified and based on the scientific facts. Of course i was not aware about which actor was having affair with whom during those days and for interested one 'Filmi Kaliyan' type magazines were always there. I was not..

Now a days there are lot of news channel each for business, entertainment and for life style and even for city specific too.. but the poor quality of content and news reporting and different way of misrepresentation of fact does only harm to society. My personal perception about these channel are below..

AAj Tak/Headlines today: This channel started the concept of 24 hr news channel in India. it produces the news item like snake chasing an man, Akshay affair with Denise Richards, since how many hours Saif is waiting for kareena or Manyata mental status when Sanjay Dutt was being taken to Pune jail. I cant count the no of time this channel declared End of world on specific date. Thank god i didn't believed them and didnt do any thing crazy. Their news ranges from Vedic books to all astrological prediction to current status of all Saas Bahu serials and they also know which shot Sehwag or Sachin should play or not. I don't know whether people reporting such news item really believe in these things. It seems sole purpose of this channel is spread unvalidated and unscientific fact create blind faith, worries and create fear among kids and common men. Looks like they are serving news to stone age old civilization and their sole purpose is to take India in 17th centuries. Most of time i feel terrified or excited while watching their news.

NDTV 24X7, INDIA: This channel thinks that they are very elite and intellect and we as audience are fool and dumb and only sleeping creature. We as audience don't have any logical or analytical mind. This channel sole purpose is wake up us. Since they think are intellect they have very right to discuss and debate every thing happening in the society whether it kids thrown by a techie father in Chennai or assassination of Benzir Bhutto or any XYZ movie. Everything requires national level debate and discussion. All problem can be resoled by discussing them on table only. What is happening in Pakistan is more important to them than india and everything happening there should be debated here. Looks like i don't have anything to do. They think discussing and debating will solve every problem of society no need to do anything. The sole purpose of this channel seems to just to create national level debate and discussion. They think even a each every incident require national level discussion. Also they are the only who bother about things we don't have mind to think. we are just passie spectator.

TIMES NOW: They will take even one occurrence of a incident and project it like its happening in whole country. They Project each news items are happening all over india and its affecting everyone. Things like gay, lesbian relationship, live-in relationship, premarital sex, divorce, drug abuse etc are happening all over India and affecting each common individual whether he is sitting in Mumbai or in my remote village which still require electricity and drinking water. They think all over India these things are followed and require immediate attention. i have not seen any one reporting from remote area on this channel. also they are more interested in raisng/asking question rather than analyzing and finding ans. All they have is unanswered questions.

STAR NEWS: Before it became fully Hindi this channel used to have some respect and standards but now its pathetic and confused. They don't know what is news and what should they produce as news. It does not know whether to target metro audience are village audience. which area domain it should concentrate. Their new is just a kind of hotch-potch. Seems like now days they are on Aajtak path. Also it looks like they lack chairs as I see most of its news reader always standing and walking.

CNN IBN: They always track developing story as they say most of time. which never develops .They present news with lot of passion and urgency, looks like things are happening so fast and with in second news item will lost its importance or their news reader have to catch train. or they have to go on date More than readers I see guest in their studio more often. Only good thing I found is movie review on this channel but hate 'Really tough move quiz'.

Others channels don't deserve mention here. Daily there is one more news channel to fill your channel slot. God helps us...

A trip to Nilgiris Mountains, Ooty

Finally I was able to made I trip to down to south there so many places to visit near by Bangalore and even after it has been four month since I took my car I have not made any significant trip. So this time when opportunity came knocking on my door and I didn't wanted to missed it. It was one of my colleague marriage and I decided to go. After lot of discussion when and how to go and how many people were supposed to go finally two of my colleague accompanied me. I decided not take to my car as was feeling less confident abut driving on the hills so we hired a cab. We started mid night on Friday and left Bangalore around 12:30 midnight. It was tough for me awaking sitting beside driver seat but generally I sleep around 1:00 AM so it was OK for me. Within no time we touched Mysore road. On the way we stopped for tea.

Few line I created while listening to song was
The song was ek aadhi padhi novel

Door dekhi hai ek ladki khadi( I have seen a girl at a distance)

Per lagti hai hai wo mujhi sey badi ( but she seems elder to me)

So we were having lot of fun.

The Bangalore Mysore highway is very good for driving. We entered in Mysore around 2:30 only because some black cat crossed our path. and my driver wanted some one to cross before we could proceed. Now who is coming to cross us at 2:30 AM in the night. Any way before someone could come we started clicking some snaps. Finally a car came and we started again. We left the Mysore and now surrounding was deserted. And the road was also pretty bad with big holes and looks like were traveling on moon surface. Also whether started to become bit colder. We stopped for tea as I started felling sleeping and I could sense strain on my driver eyes also. We stopped at small hotel and this area was a small place at 4:30. There were other buses and people were also standing and taking teas. We had tea and some cookies the air had become suddenly very cold and I felt like shivering out side cab I had only T shit and shots. After getting fresh we started and we war passing Bandipur jungle although it was bit dark but I could sense standing trees. My driver asked one of colleagues which way to go I don’t know what he replied but he took the left turn and I could see dangerous curvaceous elevated road. The road were only wide that I there is no way for incoming vehicle and was impossible to over take. we stopped to a check post and after some verification we started again. Now light has started coming and I could see things properly out side window. Than path was dangerous narrow and some places it was pin bend curve with 30% elevation. It was very cold and foggy I could see surrounding hill and high trees. The sun has started coming and it was beautiful to see sun coming behind far away mountains. Surrounding was calm with sense of mystery. After some photo shoot we preceded further to heights. The road was elevated and even though it was bright sunshine but wind was chilling and I was almost shivering. We entered Ooty and driver went to check post and we started playing with camera. Finally we reached to booty city and our destination Queen Residency it was around 7:30AM. The residency was surrounded by hill and located on the slope of a hill. There were beautiful scenic hills and tea farms on the opposite slope of mountain in front of my room. I was awake whole night so I crashed to bed as soon as I entered in the room.

I got up around 11 AM took bath and after getting refreshed we reached to a hotel for lunch around 12 o clock. It was early for hotel to serve lunch but he agreed if we could wait 10 minute. The lunch was not very exciting but liked the fish. We proceeded to Ooty Botanical Garden. Nilgiris mountain are well know for their herbs and tea estate and this botanical garden was on the hill slope with lots of herb plants and old trees basically its forest area but surrounded by walls for general public. We tried to reach to highest point in the garden did some photography stuff . The beauty of this garden was thick trunk tress. Seems like they were hundred years old.

We spent their around 2-3 hours and we proceed to Doodabetta hill. This is the highest peek point in the south India as it was written. It was around 20 km on hills we reached there had some photo, some ice cream from this highest point we can see all the surrounding area houses on the hills and teas gardens.

There I noticed one newly married couple in conversation......

“Ok sit on that stone I want to take one more better." said husband to his newly married wife. "Now smile" said husband.

Now wife was had taken some snaps and while taking camera from her...

"Kosis ye karo ki haat bukul na hile photo lete wqat" ( try to keep your hand still while clicking) said husband..

"Haan ji main kosis karungi" ( yes ji I wiil try") said wife.

"Tume ne pani bottel utha liya.."( have you taken water bottle) asked husband.

" haan ji" replied wife

That was really sweet but the same time for me too polite and courteous... I wish they remain like this forever not only in their honey moon ....

Any way we came back down and on the way I visited a tea estate and had some tea. taste was obviously different.

We proceeded to Rose Garden it was written on the gate that we were entering in the best rose garden in the world, only to found not even a single rose in the garden. It happens only in India. Really without even a single rose it was best rose garden in the world.

It was 4:30 and was getting cold I could feel cold wind in my bones when we reached to booty lake. We took a four setter boat and went for some boating. Looked like there was some problem with boar liver it could only turn left. Any way after 1 hrs of boating we managed to come on the lake side. We spent there some time to enjoys sunset.

The evening was colder than we had expected. We decided to hang out there in some bar as there was no point in going back to hotel. We reached to Cheering point enquired about some bar and restaurant but could not found any one after roaming for 2 hours. We decided to go back to hotel took some food and drink.... We got some drink and food returned to hotel. Last time I saw the watch was 11:45 when I finished my drink and crashed to bed.

I got up early in the morning sun had still not come out and it was cold and windy outside. I wake up my friends and took bath. We got ready by 7:45 and upon inquiring we had come to know that the place for marriage was 25 km on other side of mountains. I was thinking that marriage was some where in city only. Any way we started and we took the Doddabeta hill route for few kms and reached to Kadaambty the surrounding hills were full of tea garden and were cleaner fresh and green. We reached to marriage place in 1 hour and after waling km on to top of mountain the house was almost on top of the hill there was another mountain on opposite side and both were parallel and the sight was amazing. Imaging getting up in the morning and finding a hill in front of you...

The marriage ceremony was over by 1PM and after lunch we started back this time we took the different route the road was good and distance was shorter.. we stopped for some tea on the hill we reached the market at 2 pm We did some shopping I brought different type of tea and chocolates Ooty is famous for its tea, herbs and home made chocolates. We reached hotel and cheeked out around 3:30 we started back to Bangalore. This time we took the proper road and this road bit easy to drive only some sharp curve we stopped few places for photo shoot and sight seeing and also shooting spot. I did some horse riding. Once we got down we traveled around 30 km in Bandipur national park jungle and it was getting evening we saw few wild animal like peacock dear monkey etc.. While coming back we stopped at Mysore for dinner at 10 PM. There was nothing much to write in return trip we reached 12:45 am at my room in Bangalore.

Its Holi today.........

Today was Holi and I was not aware of its exact date till last week. It was not totally colourless as in the evening my friend Abhishek invited me for some work to his place and only to found my self in color on reaching there. I played with some color so it was not bad at all. But i missed my family members and friends and regret not being at home besides missing those sweet and beautiful home made dishes prepared by my mother . I consider Holi more as festival of love and affection it gets highest position among all the festival we celebrate. It bring unity and closeness among us. In our side at least during this occasion we meet each and every friends and relatives and visit every one place... I don't see much passion and color here in Bangalore.... in Kanpur Holi is played seven continuous days after Holi festival is over and I used to had tough time going to my institute from my hostel during my engineering days ...but Jaipur flower Holi has special place in all kind of celebrations... Happy and colorful Holi to everyone...

Definition....

How will you define me..
What name my existence would be

The Extreme heat of summer
Or shivering cold of winter

An old book's unfinished chapter
Or the one who wandered seeking answer

A most beautiful destruction
Or crushed pieces for resurrection

A gold turned in to dust
Or my inner harden with crust

An unreasonable and irritating rash
Or residue left behind of burnt ash

An old leafless dried tree
Or a soul of a confused yogi

A dying thirst in the desert
Or one who discarded all its comfort

A drop of early morning dew
Or words of a final adieu


(© Rakesh Kumar march 2009)

An usual day and Pink Panther2

The day started with different feeling and emotion this morning and i wouldn't ask question why. it has to go like this and be like this and that's it. We went for team outing today, it was long time since we went together we were planning since long and finally we were able to manage and do it. I took my team members in car to Forum where we had lunch in 'Sahib Singh Sultan', food was awesome and ambiance was excellent. After that we went to watch Pink Panther 2. It was funny and hilarious with our own Ashwariya Rai in caste. Clouseau is cocky, stiff and oddly predictable and other actors have little to do. Any way i had good time during movie. We came back in late afternoon/evening.

Today i finished my dance classes and it looks like there is lot of gap to cover. I am unhappy with my learning and progress on that front.

It has been around 1.5 month time since i started playing Badminton again ( after 10 years) in HSR club here, thanks to to my product manager. I play 2-3 time per week in the night. I must say i am satisfy with my progress and my game has improved a lot. but still i have to fine tune my game and there is lot of scope of improvement. I have not lost even a single set in last 2 weeks and nearly 10 consecutive set wins. Hurrah....

Among all the puzzles i am currently trying to solve one is Rubik's Cube. I am still having difficult time to solve it completely. last night i did some mathematical analysis and googling and result was shocking. i will let know once solve it completely. Its seems my mind is not the same what it used to be.

At breakfast....

I conceptualize it on breakfast table this morning as i found myself in some different kind of feelings...


One more day and time seems too long
Now my imagination is more real and strong

Many days and nights have passed
Since you have crossed my path

Far away in between some times
When I look at your eyes, your smile

I don't know why I feel lost in those moment
Although its too short but I feel most vibrant

It hurts to look at you from a distance
But I am too weak to resist and break silence

And I find myself looking at you
Keep on searching excuses few

The pain of not knowing you,
How many ways should i argue

My Suffering for not being with you
You can also understand it too

One day will ever come
When you, only for me...

Will Take just one step towards me
And that will be my most valuable key

Will smile from your heart for me again
That day things will not be same then

Because for me that will be heaven
Forever my destiny will be beaten


(© Rakesh Kumar March 2009)

When I was sure....

This poem I wrote on this Sunday evening when I was not sure......



When I was sure of winning,
I ended up losing

When I was sure of laughing,
I found myself crying

When I was sure of getting sleep,
I found surrounded by bleep

When I was sure of running ahead,
I got my track narrow and dead

When I was sure of touching sky,
I realized my wings were tied

When I was sure of seen through my eyes,
I forgot to reason 'why'

When I was sure of reaching my destination,
I got my legs broken

When I was sure of getting love,
I got my feeling shoved

When I was sure of getting supported,
I was left deserted

When I was sure of shoulder to cry on,
I was left with tears to dry on

When I was sure of holding a hand,
I got myself drowned in sand

When I was sure of walking together,
I walked alone forever

When I was sure of loving,
I got my heart bleeding

When I was sure of being in home,
I only found walls of stone

When I was sure of being myself right,
Only I got was fight

When I was sure of being enlightenment,
I found my common sense was absent

When I was sure of being reached on top,
I found my progress had stopped

When I was sure of being alive,
I reached closer to die.




(© Rakesh Kumar, March 2009)