Misguided Crowd...

Recently I saw couple of things that were misguided and completely out context. e.g. campaign run by media and social organization which involves public awareness, giving message to people and crowd. Now i am not going to reason whether they are going to be successful or not. They are still better then not doing however i have my own reservation about their effectiveness and how they are misguided and targeted to wrong people and place. even 1/10 of the same effort directed at right set of people would have eradicated the problem long back. Let look back some of thing done to fool public

• Save Tiger: Save tiger run by various media  houses and agencies. NDTV is running this campaign by signing in malls, shopping complexes and displaying awareness ads in its channel. Now just think about the people who are  being targeted. People who watch NDTV 24X7, people who shop in the malls people who watch a English channel, people who resides in metros. Just think how many of people living in metros go and hunt tigers or they use or buy product made of tiger.  None! These people need not be be told about dwindling population of tigers. What difference its going to make to tigers, me grumbling while watching news about their decreasing population and sitting in bed room if i am not involve in any of the process either of saving or killing of tigers. Just a wishful thinking is going to save them right? Its different things that by by going to a shopping mall signing the campaign and wearing t-shirt I will feel different and satisfied by getting away of my responsibilities. The people who hunt them will be doing it right now in the remote area of west Bengal or any other tiger inhabitant. They are not watching NDTV for latest news, or shopping in any Metro city or malls. If these agencies are really committed to save tiger they should go to villages near tiger inhabitant or jungle and educate those people who hunt them, encroach them or kill them,   These agencies should fight for industrialization of forest area to preseve the forest. or they arrange money to equip forest rangers with latest equipment to fight with hunters. Tiger doesn't come in Bangalore or Delhi where Ineed to be aware about these things or my wishful thinking or signing campaign is not going to save them. Those who hunt them don't know how sign or write a word or watch NDTV for sure. they will continue doing so....
• Organic food: This one of the biggest hype created and people are crazy about it. As per definition Organic food or vegetables means they are grown, processed and packaged using natural resources without using any chemical during whole food production cycle, no use of chemical food or pesticide. Lets see how far this is possible. and how organic word is misused. Let me go back to school days in10+2 when I studies organic and inorganic chemistry as subject. I as per definition  organic mean vital for life, means study of compound which were supposed to be vital for survival of human life or cells. Carbon(C) is found in every compound so its basically studies of compound based on carbon 'C' or contains C in structure while also consisting of other elements such as oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen etc found in abundance in environment. The thing to note down is the organic word is not environment friendly always. If you say that if you are using organic material there is no guarantee you are doing good for environment e.g. burning coal, full of carbon a organic compund or using petrol or diesel in car, a organic material and end result of them is also a organic compound CO2, now responsible for global warming. What do we mean by organic or bio fuel. The same existing fuel is still organic and bio, made form tree after decomposition over million years. Lets talk about organic food, vegetables here, Urea (NH2)2CO which is root of all fertilizer in whole world is a organic compound and its used as fertilizing agent in soil, either produce in factory or naturally.  Now if you are using Urea for farming you can also say its organically produced and material used to grow was organic material that's what every farmer has been doing currently. So what is new in organically produced food. All fertilizer uses urea for nitrogen synthesis and it has been done since ages. If you didn't use any chemical even urea in growing particular food then how did u produce them. The natural fertilizing capacity of soil will go in 3-4 round of cultivation and u need to supply it through some sort of fertilizer. So organic producer must be changing their farming land after every 3-4 years.  You cant grow 500gm of tomato or 300gm of big potato naturally without fertilizers everytime. All corps produced require fertilizers whether u use Urea or any bio fertilizer. You cant produce bio fertilizer in 1 week it has to go through natural decomposition cycle to produce same urea. The point is about synthesis of urea naturally or artificially.  The only benefit are not using Urea is the impact of factory on environment where Urea is synthesized or produced. How much??. Second thing is about using other chemical like pesticide etc which is hardly or only used  by farmers in India when there is seasonal disease or attack by insect. Now those who claim that they don't use any chemical how will deal with such situation? Must be putting insect net or putting sign board warning insect not come in field.   Also if you are not using any type of as fertilizer in your cultivation then you must be extremely poor farmer of India using old technique and you don't know anything about farming, suicide is only things left for you. All corps fruits produced are organic food since ages as there is no such things as Inorganic food, vegetables or cultivation. All food are organic chemically. Why to make noise about it. If we really want to help environment we need to start eating everything raw and naturally thus saving energy from cooking, preserving food or processing food.
• Green technology: Now a days every new product claims to be developed using green technology. What it means when something is created using green technology. e.g.  so and so product are made by using green technology. so what is big deal about it. Basically Green technology means developing or producing something with use of minimum natural resources, produce using reusable, recycled inputs. I am not sure how its different as every waste or raw material is recycled an some what ways and consumed in way by a interlinked entity in the production chain some time the impact is more sometime impact is less. If some one says that this tube light is made using green technology what to understand? If a particular TV is made using Green technology i don't know what that means? Were tree, branches or grass were used  to made that bulb or TV. May be they are now using less input material or may be they are consuming less power, but thats realive term. May be they are recycled more, but then its part of evolution and advances, suddenly how things become green. If we have been able to develop a smarter chip with less space and less power consumption how suddenly it become a green technology. did not same process or input material were used may be bit less amount or different way. How things become environment friendly. Consuming less from nature only slows the depletion of resources. It doesn't make nature friendly. slapping someone 5 times instead of 10 times doesn't make make me friendly with that person. People say green technology is environment friendly and less toxic and less damage to environment, Good but till when.. unless someone comes with new research and finding and shows some new facts about damaging environment... past science advances are full of such example.. till then enjoy green technology. 

All I want...

Is it too much to ask?
Does it seems to be a difficult task?
Day after day laying numb and cold
All I want is a hand to hold


Is It too late?
This is what written in my fate
How much harder should I try?
All I want is someone for die


Am I getting blind?
No one whom I call kind
Why world is full of pain
All I want is dance in rain


Am I fading fast?
Have I spent my prime past?
Should i call life unfair
All I want is someone to care


Am I difficult guy?
Is it time to say goodbye?
Any reason why I can't fly
All I want is to lost in her eyes


Am I growing old?
Unable to understand what is told
Is it a sign of a my end?
All I want is to become her friend


Is it too much of concern?
How long I will suffer burn?
Can I heal it any better?
All I want is to walk together


Do I lack any responsibility?
Why my hands are empty?
This what my ulimate test
All I want is a shoulder to rest


Is this a reason to be upset?
When there is evening sunset
Is there no more beauty and charm
All I want is to take her in my arms


Is it my so called greed
Why my prayer lack heed
So many thing in life I missed
All I want is someone to kiss


Is it my ultimate bane?
Why no one is to share my pain?
I need a perfect doctor
All I want is a life partner


© Rakesh Kumar July 2009

जो लोग सागर किनारे चल रहे हैं
वो भी डूबते सूरज के पास जाना चाहते हैं...
जिन पथरों को तुम कुचल रहे हो
उनमे भी देवता बने की चाह है...
वो बरसात की बुँदे भी मोती बन सकती थी
अगर सीप के अंदर जाती...
सुन कर देखना, उस आवाज में भी दर्द होता है
जो पतझड़ के सूखे पत्तों पर तुम्हारे चलने से होती है
आज जिन ताजमहल के चिकने पत्थरों को देख कर तुम खुश हो रहे हो
कभी उन को तराशने वालों हाथों के खुरदरेपन, दर्द को कभी महशुस किया है
पुरखों के पदचिन्ह पर चलने की आदत तो है
पर कभी हस्तचिन्हों को देखकर चलने की भी कोशिश की है
इतिहास को पढने की आदत तो है पर
कभी उन तारीखों को भी याद रखने की कोशिश की है
उडने के लिए पंख तो सभी को मिल जायेंगे
पर आसमान सभी परिंदों को नहीं हासिल हुआ है

ऊँचे सपने देखने की चाह तो है पर 

अपने पैरों के आगे की जमीन को भूल गये हो  

आईने को देख कर डरते हो लेकिन मेरे दास्ताँ सुनने की उम्मीद रखते हो
समुन्दर के खारेपन का एहसास तो है लेकिन अपने आंसुओं का स्वाद भूल गए हो...

I am not hard to find..

When one day you change your mind
And want your life to rewind
You know I am not hard to find

When everyone have left you far behind
You are Unable to find a path defined
You know I am not hard to find

When your legs are tired to walk your miles
You want someone for a shoulder ride
You know I am not hard to find

When your life has nothing worthwhile
You have lost all reasons to simile
You know I am not hard to find

 When things for you are difficult to cope
You don't have any ray of hope
You know I am not hard to find

When there is a lightening strike
Nothing for you seems to alright
You know I am not hard to find

When you lose your beauty and charm
Become a shadow of your prime past
You know I am not hard to find

When your pleasure and laughter are gone
You need a shoulder to cry on
You know i am not hard to find

Just look back in time
I am not hard to find

© Rakesh Kumar July 2009

Parodies

I have written many parodies based on popular songs. Here is two latest one from 3 idiots movie.
----------------------------------------------------

This song represnt mental condition and wish of a software devloper working on maintenance project.

सारी समय हम bug fix करते ही रह
अब तो एक module हमे develop करने दो

ना ना ना ना

Give me something to design
Give me something to architect
Give me a new module
I want to develop from scratch

ना ना ना ना

कितनी रात हमने debugging में बिताया
कॉपी पेस्ट करना तो हमे लीड ने सिखाया
टाइम पर bug फिक्स किया किया तो bonus
नहीं तो next morning मेनेजर की खुन्नस

Give me something to design
Give me something to architect
Give me a new module
I want to develop from scratch

ना ना ना ना ना ना

गूगल कर कर के हमने bug fixing है किया
testing कर के सारा रिलीज़ है किया
अब तो ये sprint ख़तम भी हो गया

अब तो हमे डिजाईन करने दो

ना ना ना ना ना

Give me something to design
Give me something to architect
Give me a new module
I want to develop from scratch


*************************************
This song represent wishes of  a software engineer who wants to beocme a manager..


सारी समय हम कोडिंग करते ही रहे
अब तो हमे मेनेजर बनने दो

ना ना ना ना
Give me some more responsibilities
Give me another role
Give me a promotion
I want to become a मेनेजर

कितनी रात हमने coding करने में बिताया
debug करना कितनो को सिखाया
हर बार रिलीज़ टाइम पर है किया
हर stakeholder को खुश है किया

Give me some more responsibilities
Give me another role
Give me a promotion
I want to become a मेनेजर

ना ना ना ना ना ना
Excel use का ट्रेनिंग है लिया
मेल लिखने का स्टाइल भी है मेरा
कभी किसी से कोई पंगा ना लिया
हर बार apraisal में good rating भी मिला

अब तो मुझे मेनेजर बनने दो

ना ना ना ना ना

Give me some more responsibilities
Give me another role
Give me a promotion
I want to become a मेनेजर

एक हंसी...

जाने क्यों अतीत के परिंदे फिर से फड़फड़ाने लगे,
आज जब बरसों बाद देखी उसकी तस्वीर फेसबुक पर
बहुत पहले ही मैं उन परिंदों के पर काट चुका था
आज भी उसके चेहरे पर वही सुन्दरता झलक रही थी
हाँ वही थी वो, आज हँसते हुए, मुस्कराते हुए
उसी हंसी के साथ जो कभी खोजने की कोशिश की थी मैंने
हाँ बहुत कुछ देने का वादा भी किया था उसने
सिवाए एक हंसी के, जो वो मुझे कभी नहीं दे पाई
कुछ आंसु जो उसने मेरे पहलु पर टपकाए थे
आज भी गीलेपन का अहसास होता है उन आंशुओं से
सोचता था एक दिन मैं उनको मिटा दूंगा, सुखा दूंगा
भूल गया था की कब का थक चुका था उनको सुखाते, सुखाते
कभी सोचा था शायद एक बार वो मुस्कराएगी मेरे लिए
एक वो मुस्कराहट जो मैं खोजता रहा था उसमे
और कुछ भी तो नहीं माँगा था मैंने उससे, कुछ नहीं
सिवाय एक हंसी के, जिसका मैने बहुत इन्तजार किया
जिसको पाने के लिए मैने क्या, क्या नहीं किया
रेत मे भटकते उस प्यासे हिरन की तरह
दिन, रात मैं खोजता रहा था जिनको
हाँ, आज मैने देखा वही मुस्कराहट, वही हंसी
पर वो मेरे लिए नहीं था, किसी और के लिए था
बहुत पहले वो किसी और की हो चुकी थी
आज मैं खुश हूँ उसको हँसते हुए देख कर
पर थोडा दुखी भी हूँ इस कमी के एहसास से
उसकी मुस्कराहट को पा न सकने से ख्याल से नहीं
बल्कि जिंदगी में किसी को एक मुस्कराहट न दे सकने के कमी से

Wish...

A triumph turned into lost
A big silence or break on thoughts

No one is near who cares
I cried bucket of silent tears

I don't care if I need to eat
So strong and yet so weak

Day after after day I am turning to bad
some time angry and some time sad

I had enough and can't take any more
Spend whole day inside closed door

Wasted effort in trying to prove
Day by day more ahead I move

Don't want to live a life lavish
In a restaurant eating exotic dish

This is not the life which I wish
Give me a lover whom I love and kiss

Copyrights Rakesh Kumar july 2010

May be..

May be I will lack a courage to be bold
May be I wont find a hand to hold

May be I will not find a reason to cry
May be I will not find a smile to die

May be no one will ever share my meal
May be my pains will never heal

May be my night will be without sleep
May be I will lack tears when I weep

May be I will never have words to speak
May be I will be labeled as weak

May be my path will be full of stones
May be I will be always walking alone

May be no one will treat me gently
May be my path will always be lonely

How impossible it might seems
I will never compromise on my dreams.


Copyrights Rakesh Kumar July 2010

This is a Sunday evening. I didn't do much whole day, went out for some time and came back. I thought of creating something new, something exciting write some new words with new meaning to things. I am trying since last half and hour and unable to do so. There is as strange feeling of incompleteness and feeling of lackness. so many things are coming and going inside my mind. Its very difficult to concentrate right now. Last couple of month have been a kind of roller coaster ride emotionally and day by day i realized i am becoming more insensitive to emotions. so many things to be done and I ended up doing nothing. I thin layer of stillness, disenchantment is covering me and its becoming thicker day by day. A sense of dying sensitiveness, a lack of spark which I can only feel. It may be just a small phase or just a thing in my mind but why?

Question

I keep on asking myself this question
Who am i, or only a  sum of my action

Is there any objective of my own existence
If nothing left inside me as substance

What is the aim of my life journey
If at the end my hand are empty

So many reason and I am product of a abuse
What is purpose of living life full of excuse

Each day exploring one more hidden layer
What do i get if i really care 

Searching to my own self  i am stranger
So many question without any answer

 copyrights Rakesh Kumar june 2009

Atlas Shrugged is over

"The road is cleared," Said John Galt. " We are going back to this world.

The last statement from John Galt. It was around 11:41 PM when i read the last line of last pages Atlas Shrugged. The book was challenging not in terms of size of its content but understanding and rationality behind it. Also time I took to read it, almost 2 years. Though since last one years i was reading it irregularly however I was determined to read each and every line of this book and not to miss any one of word. I still remember the first day I took the book in my hand and I had imagined that one day I would be finishing last line of this book and yesterday night was that time. It was one of most exciting and thought provoking reading. There were few famous quote from the book the one I can recall now is "Truth is for those who seek it." Well Read...

पौवा

न मुझे कोई शिकवा न मुझे कोई गिला
जब से पीने को पौवा मिला
नशे मैं मैने ताजमहल हिलाया
धीरे धीरे अपनी चिता जलाया
तुम क्या जानो इशकी महिमा
शिव संकर की ये बढ़!ता गरिमा
शाम सबेरे सब गुण गाते
नियम से मद्रिआलय जाते
जब पोवा से गला तर होता
किसी से न कोई डर होता
क्या राजा और क्या फकीर
सब इश र!स्ते के राहगीर
क्या बुधवार क्या रविवार
पौवा का हर दिन पर अधिकार
कहत राकेश सुनो सब लोग
पऊवा से दूर होते सब रोग
दोस्तों के साथ मौज से जीयो
पौवा साथ रोज बैठ के पीयो
क्या दिल्ही क्या बनारस
हर जगह मिलता ये रस
पौवा के हैं नाम अनेक
जात धरम का कोई न रोक
पौवा से है देश मैं शांति
मिले न ये तो होवे क्रांति
पौवा है अमृत का प्याला
इशके पीछे कितनो ने घर फूक डाला
चाहे पीयो हज़ारों बार
फिट भी दिल को नहीं करार
बिना इशके जिंदगी है बेकार
पौवा पीकर करो उध्धार
जिंदगी है एक ज़हर का किला
पौवा पीकर ही मुक्ति मिला


copyrights Rakesh Kumar may 2010

The day she cried..

This poem is not complete and it stand as its as of today...

She asked me question most obvious
Enquired me and asked if I was serious

I was honest and shared the way I felt

All hell broke as she could not accept

Was not I already committed for whole life

Though she asked If I wanted more time

She cried, cried, cried and cried

As I was the last thing that just died

I could feel her words wet in tears

My only wish was to be her near

Just to wash away anything she feared

To change the way things had appeared

That day whole world drowned in her tears

As she cried after many long years

The drops of her tears were costliest expenses
I was only person who lost all my senses

 

My feeling was only left to be crushed

She raised question on my integrity and trust

Just to see her beautiful smile

I had covered a distance of many miles

From that moment onwards she had a choice
No further she displayed spark in her voice

Not that my feeling was any less for her

Only I lacked was perfect answer

I was searching how fate was arranged

That moment our life completely changed

Just 24 hours back I was most sure

That she was my life's most ultimate cure

All these days and night I was alright

But deep inside there was lonely fight

Walking on sea shore I found that answer

She was in my life source to wisdom

My life was passing so dull and boring

She was cool breeze on my face blowing

Now my life will change completely

But I will not take her as my safety

She is in mourning and I am behind her pain

And there is no one else to be blame

This may be the last chapter in this tale

But her precious love was sure not for sale... 

copyrights Rakesh kumar May 2010

Paper Cup

This poem i wrote long back as comment when paper cup was stopped at my work place

Once there was a day

Once there was a day when...

• When we used to had a old small black and white TV and every Sunday morning our room used to filled with neighborhood children. Our room was small and there was no place to sit but people never complained. As a kid I was always happy to open the door whenever some one had knocked  and I had never complained about missing dialog and scenes. I remember the day when I used to go to watch Sunday evening movie to friends houses and we used to find whole neighborhood sitting there.
• When only we used to have landline telephone connection and we used to receive neighbor's, relative's calls and we used to tell them to call after five minutes by the time we would inform them and we  had never complained about it.
• When we used share our morning news paper to our neighbors and we had never  complained offering them tea with that.
• When I never complained offering neighbors kid cycle ride or giving them  my bicycle when they had asked or required. I never worried that it would be damaged or broken. 
• When I always had enough time to teach our neighbors kids or help them when they had needed. 
• When I used to share my single lamp whenever ever there was a power cut and we used to study together and nobody complained about disturbance or mosquito bites. 
• When people used to bring calender and our walls used to filled with so many goddess pictures. 
• When we used to share our football, Carom and hockey in the evening with  neighbors.
• When I used to spent my evening till dark in playground and my parent never worried about my safety or hygiene.
• When my shoes used to have big holes but I never missed  going to playground. 
• When We used to travel by trains and we had enough trust to discuss and share everything with our fellow passengers.
• When people used to walks kms to meet and greet their friends and relatives.
• When I used to write letters to my parent and spent hours thinking how to start. 

And today 

• I have a big two bedroom apartment with no one to share my space.
• I have a big LCD TV but no one  is here to share my viewing experience, no discussion and comment on cricket and telling cricketers how to play a particular shot. 
• I have a big car but no one is there to share my drive.
• I take news paper but no one is there to comment or discuss those news stories. I dont feel interested now a days reading news paper.
• I stay in a big society of highly educated people but I don't see any  sharing of knowledge or teaching/interacting among neighbors and their kids.
• I have multiple pair of costliest shoes but I hardly have time to go gym. They are biting dust.
• The same playground which once used to be filled with boys now looks deserted.
• I travel in flight with highly civilized people of the society and I hardly interact anyone or see others interacting each other.
• Now a days I have cellphone with everyone's contact nos however i am not sure when i used those numbers to call someone. 

Things have changed we have changed, society have have changed, still trying to figure out god or bad?

A promising day in my life...

How A promising day of my life turned into (yet to figure out)....

•  Before you take your seat you get bonus letter but you don’t have reason to smile.
• You go into meeting only to find yourself in unfamiliar ground.
• You schedule a meeting but you are not available.
• You do some changes in code to run some process only to find you have to change value in debug mode for 200 times and you can’t abort the process.
• You join a conf but you are the only person in call.
• You fixes some issue only to find some new problem reported back that has nothing to do with you or your changes.
• You think you have finished day’s task at 8pm only to find new item assigned.
• You buy some food stuff for dinner only to realize you don’t want to eat them after opening the door.
• You go home thinking you can login and work from home in night only to find your broadband disconnected.
• You come back office in Shot and bathroom slipper and pray no one should see in that dress.
• You thought of finishing things quickly but you wait for some clarification without any reply.
• You find it difficult to explain your friend about many emotions you went through whole day and he finds you in office.
• Your perspective GF is seeking your attention but you are involve in debugging.
• Your best friend calls you for some help but he only expresses sympathy for you.
• You good friend reminds you that you could not call her and you don’t have time to seek apology.
• Your ask someone for helps for 2 minute and he replies that he would only help next week.
• You thought of going back at apartment but other person pings you to finish something before you hit shutdown button.
• You stay and finish your work but wcf services is not running properly on QA box and all the people are in meeting so you can’t test it. you have to wait.
• You set your yahoo messenger status ‘A worst day in life’. And only 2 people ask abt it and you don’t explain them.
• You try to seek help by contacting 4 people on IM, 3 people on mail, and 4 people on phone and you don’t get reply or resolution.
• At 1 AM while you were feeling sleepy and hungry both same time and everything else looks fine, you get mail from one of your manager about importance of not sitting idle.
• You write this @1:30 AM even though you are not sure you are going to share it with someone.

 

Well, life is fun when you let unexpected to happen.

(All the event have no resemblance to any incident or living being in past, present or future, and this should be taken in lighter sense)

Traffic

This poem I wrote when my friend Abhishek suggested me to write on traffic. I dedicate this to him only...

Don't want to lose my mind calm

All I want is no more traffic jam 

Where should I go if there are no safe way

I keep on wasting my all brand new day

The drive is bumpy and roads are hell

This way daily my life goes for sell

I want safe drvie to home in the night

But many driver on the roads are blind

Poeple cross and overtake each other side

They dont care for any rule to abide

Driver don't follow rules of traffic light

And they dont know what is right

Many times I see my fellow driver scream

Oppsite direction's coming vehicle in high beam

Day by day there are more traffic light

However there are more accident and fight

On this road you need to be lucky and brave

Or else you may reach soon closer to grave

We are so called civilized public

But we lack basic descipline in traffic

My eyes turn in the world of blindness

People don't  even have words of kindness

All traffic rules are meant for better use

System is for safety and should not be abused

The roads are narrow and unable to carry load

Days are not far when system will explode

copyright Rakesh kumar Mar 2010

Backtrack

Many years, month, days have passed
Still counting the thinigs i have lossed

For you it may be a ages old story
But things are still so fresh in memory

Sitting in the park the things you wrote
My name you put in those beautiful quote

Everyday me watching you walking away
Understanding what your smile had to say

Unable to figure out meaning behind your actions
Many times I walked around to get your attention

Even though today may be I have grown old
Only thing missing was courage to be bold

Once there was a star which I was aiming
Thinking about them today I am laughing

So many things I did was crazy
Unable to take step you labeled me lazy

Many time i looked at your face for a while
Only thing I was missing was your smile

Now you have gone to a distance far
But my life has turned  in to a bizzare

copyrights Rakesh Kumar feb 2009

A day..

It was long day and I reached late night
I opened the door to my empty house

Should I go out and join some party
Or get drunk till bottle get empty

Should I call few people whom i call friends
Or think about how to bring this routine end

May be I sit in the balcony  and watch moonlight
Or switch on TV, listen some music or walk around

It is not a bad idea to read some magazine
Or give a new meaning to life worth living

Should I look around and bring in my life thrill
Or do the things I thought I never will

Should I search for something I have not yet find
Or go back to things I already left behind
 
copyrights Rakesh Kumar jan 2010

Balcony

Standing on my room balcony
What I am doing
Counting the number star I see in the sky
If they are gossiping about humans life
Calculating the tiredness of moonlight
The distance it travels to reach us
Listing to dog barking in front yard
Thinking if they are fighting for food
Are singing in their happy mood

Alone

You say I am lonely
I may not deny some time but am I only
You agree I need time to myself
To explore and search my inner wealth
I never have time alone
Although half of life I was away from home
Some time things were closing around me
However they were only chosen few
I wanted to leave life of my own
And in my sense I was never alone
Whenever I feel I dance sing and run
Or sometime just sit and relax in sun

A boy in winter

The day was cold and night was deadly

He was ten year old boy standing lonely

On a coldest night of a winter

He was shivering with cold and fear

Visiblity was minimal and night was foggy

His cloths were dirty unable to cover his body

He searched garbage but nothing he found to eat

Begging on the road side he only got the beat

His Body was bleeding but pain was nothing

Compared to hunger and his tummy rumbling

His only soure of meal was to chew his finger

Although they had already got many blister

He could not decide about his fight

What was means left for him to survive

When everyday his life was being sold

What was more painful hunger or cold

Empty belly or life thrown apart

What was hurting him most of all

Abstract

Many time I walked to you from distance far
I wished that I could be where you are

Years passed but memories left with fresh trace
Looking aorund I am keep searching your face
 
In my heart you were always near
So dear yet far, I wish you were here

Time I took to say words was long
When I woke up you were gone

Your destiny to be smooth like a butter
I wish for you no more pain and suffer

Number of times I cried bending on my knee
The path I took was always lonely for me 


copyrights Rakesh Kumar jan2010

नया साल

सभी लोगों को नए साल पर सलाम पेश करता हूँ, नए साल की मुबारकबाद देता हूँ

भाई लोगों नए साल में नया क्या है

नल में पानी नहीं और रात में बिजली नहीं

हम को नजर आती सडको पर ट्रैफिक वही

जिंदगी वही और ज़िन्दगानी वही, मेरी तो घरवाली भी नहीं

इस नए साल की भी लगती है कहानी वही

अगर घर या ऑफिस बदल लो भी तो कोई बात नहीं

जिंदगी की तू-तू मैं-मैं अब किसको बर्दास्त नहीं

सबको मालूम है की इस साल भी हैं १२ महीने

इस बरस भी होंगे इकोनोमी के चर्चे बहुतेरे

जनवरी, फ़रवरी, में होगी सर्दी

और कुछ लोगों को होगा रिलीज़ की जल्दी

मार्च अप्रैल, मई में बहुत गर्मी होगी
कुछ का अपरेजल होगा, और कुछ को झोली खाली होगी
अगस्त सितम्बर मैं बरसात होगी
पर कितने लोगों की आँखे नम होगी
नवम्बर दीसम्बर मैं त्योंहारों का मौसम होगा
पर इस दिल का मौसम कहाँ खुशनुमा होगा

अगर ये साल नया है तो दिखाए सुबह शाम नयी

खिड़की खोलूं तो हो हसी चेहरे के दर्शन कई

हमको भी मिले हैं नए साल की बहुत मुबारकें
पर क्या होता है अगर दिल मैं हैं पिछले साल की कडवाहटें
हमने भी जिंदगी में बिताये हैं कई नए साल

कुछ थे अच्छे और कुछ का अभी तक है बुरा हाल

Alvida 2009...

Its exactly 11.11 PM IST. 49 more minutes to end year 2009. Half hours back I poured whole of Glefiddich bottle which was more than a large peg, in my glass with few ice cubes and still enough is left to take me in 2010. The Mtv is currently playing song 'Emotional Atyachaar ' on TV, probably they are replaying top 20 songs. The Haldiram's 'Sohan papadi' box which is half empty is on my side chair and my hand reaches to it some time while typing this. I am still thinking whether to cook Maggie noodles or not.

I shifted to this place on last Monday and still required few days of effort to put things properly. But still better than my usual stuffs. I searched for few dvds to spent this evening after Abhishek and Salabh left but I have not opened any one of dvd boxes. I switched on laptop to find few movie review but after browsing here and there i left it.. I am writing last blog of year 2009.

This evening I spent discussing few things with friends and didn’t had any great expectation set on new year eve. I was on leave since last Friday however I am spending few hours since last 3 days in office to get rid or my boredom. I will be writing more in coming days about new year stuff and things I am expecting however I have decided to visit as many new places as possible and experience new places and people. Few goals who are still waiting for my attention will surely get my attention and effort. I don’t want to look back and count ups and down in last few minutes of 2009. I acknowledge and thank it for being an exciting and experience rich year of my life.. ALVIDA 2009...

2009: A Retrospection

Looking back to the year that was I would say that it was bit of satisfying and exciting and I was able to accomplish and move ahead on most of the goals I had set earlier. A year for transformation and I invested lot of effort on this transformation in terms of joining Landmark Education and Art of Living. I travelled to USA and had amazing experiences. I met so many new people. Over all it was year full of excitement and new experiences.

3 idiots: A trip down memory lane

Friday was the starting of my so called very long weekend, a very long because it is difficult for me to pass time being alone on weekend, I was planning for a trip some where near by Bangalore but could not make it. I could not find any one to join with me on long drive, what the hell….

Any way I had already booked the ticket for 3 idiots with anand and ankur. So  me as one idiot joining with two couple for a movie.. The movie was laugh riot on line of Munna Bhai and was ultimate treat to watch.. Few scene were flash back to my own engineering days and listening KLPD words and seeing them getting approval was quite surprising. There is a history and list of how these words have been developed and what they actually mean, how they have been part of our enginnering culture. The movie was good journey to my engg. days and character portrayed were practical. The movie was also a comment on our present educational system although bit exaggerated. The ultimate dialog I could recall was that "agar dost fail hota hai to dukh hota hai per agar dost top karta hai to bahut dukh hota hai". I am sure most of us must have such feeling during their days.

A year that was...

An year comes to an end and so many things apart
But every moments lived will always be in my heart

The picture of a year that I always treasure
I remember so many occasion full of pleasure

I watched my self grow and changed day by day
The things I have done helped in so many ways

Remembering all the fun i had and things i did
On number of occasions i behahved as kid

I took the time to think and grow
Learn so much but still more to know

copyrights Rakesh Kumar

One year, 26/11

A sad year that just passed of our darkest past
The day in history when life completely fell apart

They attacked on the city of Mumbai
Snatched many of our beloved far away

This day may even die of history
Never to happen again is daily pray

They spread venom and we welcome
Only a fool pleases being victim

We fear for life and wait for pain
And you want us to practice restrain

But even today we are only with words
Reason and justification no one knows

The enemy is small and so tiny
But we are searching for road to victory

Entered in another year looking for justice
Tolerance and peace is our so called practice

Life goes on with nursing of wound
Seeking the justice we may never found

copyrights Rakesh Kumar Nov 2009

26/11 Heroes

This poem is about NSG commandos who sacrificed their life in 26/11 operation..

Your job is to serve our survival
But no one can say this cause is final

You are standing for us to kill or die
Next moment you may not survive

To perpetrate the ultimate traitor
You chosen to become a gunner

Your family at your home waits
But you go to the place you must vacate

You killed being part of this profession
To achieve glory of your ultimate bastion

Its who you are and what you do
With tears in our eyes we all say adieu

A nation hope rest with your courage
We suffered our deepest loss in the carnage

You are the only source to our pride
Across the darkness that looms deep and wide

copyright Rakesh Kumar, Nov 2009

Just another day...

Today was my birthday(Happy B'day to me) and it felt it like just another day. Just normal routine nothing else..

One day and I passed one more year in life
I feel lived enough but still without wife

Many Days, Month, Years passed in life
I don't know how I have survived

Many road I travelled were narrow alone
I walked joyfully and reached many milestone

Sometime thing were good, bad and ugly
One thing never changed that I was lonely

Sometime I was weak and sometime I was strong
I was wondering if this was the place where I belong

Sometime I lossed and sometime I won
So many beautiful occasion I thought were gone

Sometime I laughed and some time I cried
But I stood on my feet and decided to fight

Trying to reach on destination unknown
I looked back and found myself alone

Sometime I was crushed and pushed to corner
But I never stopped looking for answer

Many lesson learnt from my toughest journey
Always I faced things in life bravely

copyright Rakesh Kumar nov 2009

Hungry Children...

This poem I wrote after I saw a news documentary on children in Bihar dying with hunger because of last year flood, They have lost their home, parent, family and now living as orphan in rehabilitation camps expose to risk of child trafficking.. Shame on us as civilized society.


Why did they were given birth
When we don't have their any worth..

Is this what they deserve
Their destiny has only twisted curve

What have they done as small child
They don't have even food to survive

Why can't we satisfy their hunger
Is their birth in the world a blunder

Don't we have food for those kids
Are they as slave put only for bids

Why life is so unfortunate and cruel for them
Once they were too someone eye's gem

Hunger will drive them into devils hand
Force them to do things legally banned

Who is answerable for their fate
When we cant make their life straight

Children are dying for food and hunger
Shame on society and shame on us

And we living in so called civilized society
Doing nothing standing as silent witness...

copyright Rakesh kumar Nov 2009

Two years gone by...

This poem I wrote as I am completing two year in my current job on thursday. This is refelction of things I am dealing with..


One more day and I am completing two years
Thinking about so many things still not clear

How two years passed I didn’t realize
A number of occasions I have been apprised

Many people came and left me in life hazes
They are gone forever but I remember their faces

Standing at a distance I saw them walking away without sound
People, places and project have changed when I look around

Few not kept promises and I am yet to reach my goal
They are keep coming back and burning me like coal

Not everything here looks gloom and dark
A number of occasions have been with spark

Few questions have started coming in mind
When should I stop and look at horizon or sky

Should I continue or now is the time to go
Number of things I gained results to zero

I have great fun and excitements here
Spread my wings and excelled without fear

The moment and people touched me were amazing
However progress has stopped and I caught with ageing

copyright Rakesh Kumar, Nov 2009

A Saturday....

I got up this Saturday morning to go gym, only to find some one has scratch my car body with some sharp metallic object.. on bonut and driver door . His act of hate will cost me 7-8 thousand bucks and the person who had done it, what had he got.. i don't know.. may be satisfaction of destroying something. one more layer of hate in his life to destroy something bigger.

Yesterday i was watching this movie The Mist and where one dialog i came across.
"Why do you think We have invented politics and religion" Why?????

Is there any answer why we have invented these things and why do wee need them.. try putting few people in a room and see what happens to them...

Your are completely filled with it.
But you will never call it quit...

Hate against life and hate against humanity
you have created stories to make yourself agree..

Hate against parent and hate against teacher
You are no different from a mean creature..

Hate against your job and hate against your boss
Don't you see your life in a complete chaos

Hate against god and hate against death
You are surviving on a poisonness breath

Hate against me and hate against my car
you are just slave sold in this bazaar

When will you realize you are in gutter
Keep on living false life of an actor

You have battered your heart but not feel pain
Life goes on and you don't know how to refrain

copyrights Rakesh Kumar oct 2009

Beggar at Roadside

Waiting in the car at a signal to turn green

I turned head at a knock on my window screen

A beggar was knocking at window standing roadside

I pretended to search few coins in car inside

Casually I tried to look at beggar face

Glimpse on his face revealed a surprising case

His face was covered with million lines

Seems as his destiny is lost and resigned

I could sense there ages old beauty

He was looking only few coin as courtesy

His eyes had mysterious touch of blue

How he has lived his life without any clue

His body was shivering and legs trembling

Like he was passing a million years aging

Not sure if he would see next day

Or soon death will snatch his life away

My mind was racing for some understanding

How as human we lost grip on such things

Did he ever cared what he want

Or only he knew what he had got

Youth seems meaningless to him

Deprived of everything, was it his sin

I was sitting comfortably under car roof

He has spent life on a coin, just as proof

© Rakesh kumar, Oct 2009

So Far...

Is there something lost
The crazy will has nothing got

Something has happened
Why I am feeling as abandoned

Its very hard to describe
When you have cried

Why should I not I think
When my eyes never blinks

What future has stored for me
When this place is not for me to be

Should I walk to the voyage unknown
Holding this fear I have grown.

My Past was holding me till now..
I was chained like a pet cow

Milked at every place and occasion
This was only my destination

© Rakesh Kumar

Candle of Hope

Burning candle of hope…
Fighting to survive
like a new born baby in mother hand…
Keeps on crying..
Waves of wind comes as death to kill
But it survives on its own wills
Will it give in the night light
Keep on living with this fight
Everyone is thinking making it victim of hope
But it Walks alone on the path of light..

For a lunch

I thought of giving my friend abhishek ride on my car and having lunch with him together.. So picked him and it was around 3pm I thought of having lunch at jalsa 15 km from abhishek place we went there and only to be disappointed agt t was closed because of 2nd October and there is nothing to eat…

We moved back though having at Punjabi tadka near innovative multiplex.. We went upstairs only to fin people had left early because of holiday.. In front of this there rooomali restaurant with a view we went there only to fond that buffet is closed and there was nothing to eat… we went downstairs to kabab and find to be locked while coming back we tried to have Punjabi restaurant near bellandur on service road only to find it closed finally we decided to come back to bhartiam close to my place and had satisfied our hunger by poori sabji, paw bhaji and chole bahture……

The Landmark Forum

I attended Landmark forum basic course and it was a eye opening experience. The kind of transformation breakthrough I had was amazing and my whole life in front of me like a picture.. It was really amazing stuff that happened to me and I thank my friend Abhishek for it.
The Landmark is different and more effective than any other course/ training I ever attended. I was able to see most amazing life experience and conversation happening before my eyes . I have already enrolled for advanced course and looking forward to attend it in this December this will also bring to end of year transformation that I declared in the beginning of the year.

Start where you stand

Start where you stand and never mind the past,
The past won't help you in beginning new,
If you have left it all behind at last
Why, that's enough, you're done with it, you're through;
This is another chapter in the book,
This is another race that you have planned,
Don't give the vanished days a backward look,
Start where you stand.
The world won't care about your old defeats
If you can start anew and win success,
The future is your time, and time is fleet
And there is much of work and strain and stress;
Forget the buried woes and dead despairs,
Here is a brand new trial right at hand,
The future is for him who does and dares,
Start where you stand.
Old failures will not halt, old triumphs aid,
To-day's the thing, to-morrow soon will be;
Get in the fight and face it unafraid,
And leave the past to ancient history;
What has been, has been; yesterday is dead
And by it you are neither blessed nor banned,
Take courage, man, be brave and drive ahead,
Start where you stand.

Time..

The river of time flows
Day and night two sides

Month, years walking alone,
Wasting precious life..

Rising hot and cruel sun,

Drying land, Killing hope and inspiration

Lets all come together

Bring down this cruel sun in deep sea
Never to let it to kill any hope again

Lets pull some clouds of affection,
Bring some drops of love and spirit
Quench the thirst of dying soul...

© Rakesh Kumar

AT hard rock café...

Yesterday we decided to visit hard rock cafe .
Hard rock cafe branches in Mumbai as well Delhi in India.. We got the seat and ordered platinum bloody marry my colleague ordered purple haze.. Drink was ok.. We ordered chicken wings which was dipped with sweet tomatoes sauce it was ok but not very exciting per my taste. The environment was excellent and few waitress were really very hot.. I did tried with southern rock was something mix of vodka with jack Daniel.. It looked that waitress had forgotten my order but I was determined to have it, so I enquired and it was served finally. We got really scared with chicken wings so we decided not to order anything we came back around mid night…..

At ESPN Zone

There are many popular bar and restaurant around inner harbor ESPN zone and hard rock cafe being one of them..
One day we decided to try ESPN zone… ESPN zone has two type of seating arrangement in side and also around harbor water.. It was weekday and there was not much crowd beside usual visiting tourist, we went inside but it was bit crowded with loud music also lot of gaming stuff both of kids and adult. So we decided to sit out near sea water the seating place was build on roof over sea water.. We order some draught beer which was more kind of their specialties there was not much food varieties available my other colleague ordered some sandwich we ordered some chips and I decided to have dinner at room...

At Philips...

It had been around one moth for me here and I still not happen to had authentic sea food at any restaurant here so I decided to spent weekend evening at one of widely famous sea restaurant near inner harbor Philips. Basically this is the chain of the sea food restaurant and well known ( not know to me, I was advised by colleagues) for sea foods only. We landed in the Saturday evening and after much thought and discussion what to try and not to try we ordered sea food platter which was supposed to contain fried sea food, what we got was tuna fish, shrimp, crab cake French fries and with some sauces. Taste was good and shrimp and fish were crispy with sangrita sips it was all great..

Independence day...

Exactly 5 weeks back I left my beloved land
To explore a alien continent, there was no one behind

No laughter of loved one or smile of closed one
No tears of separation or any emotional burden

With all those emotions Standing still
Before my last step to flight

I slipped before I put last step to ride
Like the ground beneath my feet cried..

Now I realized it was holding me calling me

To come back everything is here if you realize

I didn't notice and found in strange land
Searched comfort in stranger all around

Back at home the room was dark without light
But looking at horizon I always found moonlight

No rainbow in horizon with only artificial light
No longer I was able to put my words down..

Searching for few corner whom I call my own
I remebered mud walls of my village where I had grown

How could I put words , with no feeling inside
After hours trying I got up with deep sigh.

Dream faded away when cruel reality strike
On few occasion I was cut with sharp knife
My mother tongue was only language in which I cried....

© Rakesh Kumar aug 2009