Fighting in a deep dark void
I am searching for a reason to rejoice
Clinging on so called life

With each passing day 

Cut by my own knife

Ripped, I bleed inside

And I think of myself
Floating in clouds of my thoughts
About what I was,
What I have become & what I want
How I lost to my own plot?

Worried about right and wrong
When I was weak & when strong
Eaten away from inside
Nothing but by my own lies

Chained by my fears of unknown
Who are trying me to hold
I feel paralysed

They slowly takes over me

And I close my eyes
Looking what left inside me to buy

I wander more deep in thoughts
About running from this world
But where?
With my bruised body
And soul full of blots

Finally I surrender my soul
Without knowing what I want

After taking all that I can bare
I let my spirit drown in despair

Without caring where it fall

I curled my self in a suffering ball

With blurred vision & being shattered

I want to call for help

But now it doesn't matter

Slowly I move away from light

Let myself darkness to own

I embraces it tight
While it drags my soul to a new home

© Rakesh Kumar Jan. 2016

Goodbye 2015, Welcome 2016

A new year however same fixed way of thinking & acting?

Looking back to year passed by it was a year with roller coaster ride emotionally as well as physically . I was able to reach closer to couple of my goals set at the beginning of the year.  This year went by quickly first couple of month I was busy with job changes preparation & interview pending from last year. Helped my wife with clinic to grow further.  during later half i was able to make a job change which was one of the major pending goal since a year an half.  later half i was occupied with  settling in new job only and it passed very quickly. It was a busy year  with little bit of fun  could not plan any travel or to visit any new place only confined to my home, clinic or office.

I stared worked on couple of my own idea but all were abandoned  at early stages still lying unfinished her and there.

Looking back to year ahead i expecting to spread my wings in all walks of life, thoughts, ideas, fun with all possibilities and without any limitations or boundaries with focus on important aspect of life and reserving time and energy for them only. I will be knocking & facing to those/things/fear which were holding me back till now. This year is suppose to be create, grow & be free in all walks of life be it thinking, fear, ideas etc.