Figments...

While I drank glasses of water few
Thinking about my being with you

The first time I heard your voice
I was left with no other choice

Each passing day you are becoming more lovable
Nothing is like you even if I search in google

Things you spoke about in last couple of weeks
Sweet among them was intention of pulling my cheeks

There are many things that make you sweet
Your deepest desire to tickle my feet

You are sweet due to many other factor
Request by you for sleeping on my shoulder

I am deeply craving for this drug
The way you describe to give me a hug

Nothing is compared to this bliss
Just imagining about your sweet kiss.

How much you call your words nonsense
Every time I hear them I lose my senses

Nothing is more beautiful reading those mails
Daily you write them without any fail

Since ages it seems you have been known
Even your silence says lot over phone

(C) Rakesh Kumar Dec. 2010

2010: A Retrospection

Looking back to year 2010,I would say this year was very exciting, fun filled year in most of the aspects. Last year I dedicated this year for travelling new places and I think it was really full filling on this front. I visited many new places and cities. It started with visiting USA again, Baltimore, New york in freezing cold weather and it was amazing experience. I went to south India trip with parent, visited Rameshwaram, Kanyakumari, Madurai and Kodaikonal. Later I visited to Andaman island, it was truly memorable experience exploring lonely beaches, scuba diving was never to forget. This trip was first personal trip in my 10 years of professional life. Later on I visited Europe, Dublin, Ireland. It was also a memorable one. Not to forget mentioning other special thing, the journey of my heart that began this year. Its was about marriage, a journey that I would be starting in Feb 2011. Already busy in its preparation...

 

    Professionally it lacked bit challenges and growth as expected specially at later half however it was relaxing and in way it helped me to explore other side of me. Looking ahead year 2011 as a path breaking year with more growth, excitement and full of luv. Happy and prosperous New year 2011 to everyone...

For Deepti...

This poem I wrote for most special person in my life, 'Deepti' only....

You are so innocent and so sweet
Whatever way I look you are so complete
Since many years I was searching only You
Meeting with you gave my life meaning new
Just in a meeting you became my soul mate
You are special with no one I can equate
Before you my life was dead and boring
You are simple, cute and amazing
I want to hold your hand and walk
Lost forever with you in endless talk
I am feeling like reaching on cloud nine
How do I believe that you have become mine
I am the patient and you are my doctor
Want this feeling to stay forever
Nothing more that I have to say
I will love you, past, present and always....

(C) Rakesh kumar Nov 2010

Far there in the sunsihine
Are my highest aspirations
I may not reach there
But I can look up and see their beauty
Believe in them
And follow where they lead...

Only as high as I reach can I grow
Only as far as I seek can I go
Only as deep as I look can I see
Only as much as I dream can I be...

I said 'Yes'

Yes. I said 'Yes' to her.  I met her during my dewali vacation trip and and my heart said 'she is the one'. Only in first meeting. I called my parent and gave my permission to go ahead. I never had this feeling before. It feels so different..

This I wrote for her only...

I never had this feeling before
You are the one whom my heart adore

Now it feels so different
Before you this feeling was absent

My days were dull and evening silent
You came as source to sweet fragrant

Sound of your voice is like butter
Sweet and smooth like an old liquor

It makes me smile, lift my mood
Turn me upbeat like a soul food...

I never heard words so mooth and silky
They can turn a sunny day into cloudy

In my life you are a sweetest doll..
You have become to me from none to all


(c) Rakesh Kumar Nov 2010.

Three years gone by..

This poem wrote on completing 3 years in my current job..

Three years gone down the line

Not sure if I have grown or decline

Never had moment when my interests were absent
Though sometime I had complain about my treatment

Looking back through the years

I had many occasion to cheers

Sometimes things were up and sometimes low

Sometime I was leader and sometime only a shadow

Years passed has been fun and excitement 

Time here have been completely different

Occasionally things were not certain

I was searching ground for my action

Thinking about my next goal

Should I seek a higher payroll

Should I open myself for new callings

Wait and watch for things

And remain in current being

Sometime I feel being all alone

Do I lack courage to get out of comfort zone

Today I am feeling bit old and dry

Spread wings for new things to try

(C) Rakesh Kumar Nov. 2010

Trip to Andaman Island

After much planning, discussion and effort and first time in 10 years of my professional career, I and my friend Venketesh Joshi decided to visit Andaman We had zeroed on 2 places Lakshdeep and Andaman but finally were able zeroed on Andaman due to cost of ticket so we booked the ticket initially for 3 days but after couple of days we realised that its would not be sufficient. So we extended the trip for 2 more days and re booked our returning ticket once again.

We took early morning flight from Jet airways to Chennai and from their 9:30 flight to Port Blair. Two and half hour journey to Port Blair we spent peacefully mostly while sleeping however only first view of Andaman Island was breath taking. It was drizzling while we landed. We already had our travel packages booked and cab was waiting outside Port Blair airport. 

In couple of conversation with driver we had knew that people understand Hindi well there. We landed in our room and after a nice warm lunch our trip started. We went to visit sea museum, on the way we pass through Rajeev Gandhi sport complex and drive view was amazing. There was nothing much in the museum beside some marine life and some photos we haded to Corbyn Beach. We had some photo session and had long walk it was evening time and there were not many people on the beach. We came back and moved to cellular jail. after getting ticket inside the light and sound show was cancelled due to rain so we had museum and jail visit only. It was emotional experience knowing freedom fighter struggle and their trauma. We spend couple of hours and came back to hotel. In the evening we went to try some local sea food to lighthouse restaurant had dinner and crashed on the bed.

9th September

The whole day was booked for visiting couple of island. After break fast we headed to Rajeev Gandhi sports complex from there we took the ferry for Ross island. Ross island used to be residence for English governors during their rules. The island is now under Indian navy control and it 3-4 kms from main island around 20-30 minute ferry joinery. We saw old building water pool and deers roaming the island. Now its deserted and its broken houses gives it wild feeling. Next we moved to Viper island there was nothing much. It used for hanging prisoner during British rule. While cellular jail was being constructed some prisoners were kept here. We had lunch on the ferry itself which was included in the package.


On the way we saw many Indian navy ships and docks. Next we went to North Bay island (coral island) we took a glass bottom boat and short trip to corals we could see coral through boat glass bottom. we landed on beach and had snorkeling which was included in the package there was nothing on beach it had broken rocks and coral reefs, was not very exciting however we had fun of going in to the water. We came back it was late in the evening had dinner.

10 the Sept.

In the morning we went coral and one another museum. One was about island natives and other was about sea life corals and its inhabitants. We had lunch at blue island restaurant and went to catch inter island ferry for Havlock island. Indian shipping corporation run ships to Havlock island and its 2:30 hours sea journey. We were very excited about seating on cruise. Ship was bit humid and hot so as it stared we came on the deck had some photo. I spent whole ship journey watching around and passing by island, blue sea water while listening my ipod. As we landed our cab driver was waiting he took us to our our resort in havlock. Basically all the resorts in Havlock as located beside ea beaches and the beaches are named from 1-7. After getting refreshed we went to Radha Krishan beach which was around 16 kms. The car journey was through deep jungles and farms. It was getting dark when we landed there but we were able to see sun set view and it was once in life time experience. The waves on beach were exciting. it was already dark when we came back to our resort. In the evening we met couple of other foreign visitors while sipping beer and food.

11th sept.

We got early morning 4 am to see sun rise. Sun rise early in this part of the world. Although it has same time zone as Indian mainland. I walked few step to beach and sun was already out. The water in the morning at Beach was far away and i could walk around 1 km deep in side sea. though it was close to resprt in the evening.  I could see small fishes stuck in sand craters. We had some photos and had walk on the beach. We came back to hut. We decided go far scuba diving though I was bit scared but my cab driver encouraged us to take it. We went a near by Dive-India centre we tried with diving suit. There was 1 more Israel friend with us. We took the speed jet boat to go to Elephant beach which half hours journey. We stopped boat in the water and walked to sea shore it was all forest around and nothing else besides white sand and fishes.


After couple of round of testing in shallow water and much effort and persuasion I was ready to go in to deep water with my trainer. I decided to walk in the water as i went deeper into the water the inside view was amazing. Different varieties of fishes swimming around me. I was surrounded by big and small fishes and tortoise. I was into a whole new world and it was amazing experience. I want in to 4-5 meter deep water twice and spend around 15-20 min each time. While coming back we again stopped to a deserted side of beach in shallow water, while other went for diving I played around with dead corals and stones. We came back around 12' o' clock, took bath at hut and came to our resort. It was getting cloudy and i order lunch to siting at beach side place. while my lunch was prepared sea had become amazing beautiful Cloudy blue sky and water deep green.  I had lunch and went hut to take some rest. We had plan to visit Radha Krishan beach but It was raining so we decided to called off that plan and spent time at resort only. In the evening I met couple of my people visitors and i went for a long run till other end of beach with one of fellow tourist and it was dark thrilling experience while returning back In the night invited couple of them to share my beer. We had long discussion about India and Israel about people and places.

12th Sept.

We got up early in the morning and went for walk on beach side sea was far away and i went deep for a walk. we had break fast and went to Radha Krishan beach.
RK beach is very big beach with high waves. We went for a long walk along beach side. It was sunny and bright day I could not wait any longer to jump in the sea. I spent around one hours jumping  and playing with waves and floating around. We came out in the after noon the cab took us island Port where we had our returning ferry waiting. We took the ferry to Port Blair promising to return Havlock island once again. Its nothing less than paradise on the earth. We reached to hotel put our luggage and got relaxed. Went for light and sound show in the cellular jail. It was a bit emotional experience. had dinner and slept.

13th sept.

Next morning we found that we cant go to Mud island as it was closed being that day monday. So we went to Mount Harriet a 20 km hill top journey after going to chttan shaw mill, the oldest Shaw mill in Asia as considered. we went to Wandoor beach located inside Rajeev gandhi national park, 30 kms from Port Blair. To my surprise this beach very clean and green and deserted. It was drizzling though I wanted to go inside deep water. We had a long walk and and photo session at the beach side. We came back in the night we went for dinner at Lighthouse restaurant

14th sept.

We had our returning flight back we went to near by shop for some shopping we did buy some pearl items and went airport, took our flight to Chennai and then Chennai to Bangalore in the evening...

Life

Today I reveal my truest form
I always have friendship with storm

Don't want on my way wind cold and breezy
I suffer most when my paths are easy

A difficult hill excites me most
Tsunami waves are my only host

Even deep ocean cant bring inside me fear
Darkness and depth compels me to go near

A desert drives me only to walk
I find rest only in havoc

To get the sympathy is not my desire
I smile only when I touch the fire

Many times I defeated my destiny
I never asked for any one's courtesy

My blister are source to coolness
Thorns in my body gives calmness

Many times I have been fallen and thrown
I get flexibility by breaking my bone

My scars are nothing but pride
I considered them beautiful bride

I don't remember since when I am alone
Fighting the demons only I have grown

I always find myself in destruction
Where I take form of resurrection

Death is whom I often kiss
There I find most beautiful bliss

I get pleasure fighting cyclone
Obstacle are just another milestone

I prefer stone only to chew
Sympathy is what I always refuse

Battering only makes me better
They are my life's exciting chapter

I am always thirsty for my tears
How hard I try they never appear

My pains are just cheers to go ahead
I never listen what others had said

I am colorful when I bleed
That's the way I win and succeed

I never care about end of my breath
Life is only to facilitate my death

(C) Rakesh Kumar Oct 2010

Profession...

Welcome to the world of profession
You have come very far
Horizon was wide with money and fortune
World of excitement opened door ajar

Once you were too a shining star
On the course fought many battle and war
You dreamed and thought reaching high
You had passion and energy to fly

As times passed you sensed reality
You felt frustrated hopeless and angry
This is not for what you have came
Years after years you also learnt the game

People are looking to throw you on mat
Its races of rat and life of a cat
You were thinking of turning thing up and down
Slowly you found yourself in a world of clown

You tried to reach and win the crown
Fighting the battle you let your dreams down
Brunt your soul and passed your prime
Now you are just a victim without a crime

You are trapped and now want to scream
But you smile because you are part of a team
People smile when you walk in the door
You are just a means for them to score

Day and night you perform and work hard
End of the year you are unable to reach yard
They destroy your soul and call feedback
You need to be polite even in case of attack

A bit of improvement will do good to you
Fighting a battle you try to argue
Its hurt your pride but you keep inside
Surviving for living you avoid to collide

Always you walked on their written line
Though they were messing with your mind
This is not what you were aiming for
But this disease have got no cure

Now it doesn't mean anything to you
The way you have progressed and grew
Now you caught up with ageing
Tired of living a life faking

(c) Rakesh Kumar Oct 2010

Changed..

Nothing has changed today
We are only pretending being okay

Our mind is thinking like an old music player
Producing same old tunes and flavor

After years of knowledge and answering whys
We are standing clueless and surprised

We lack honesty and integrity
Our vision is dark and cloudy

Truth is still defeated
On the name of tradition
Blind faith is repeated

Door of hope is closed
Justice is strongly opposed

An old mother is crying
Corruption is rhyming

Night is full of darkness
Youth is walking on road aimless

Farmer is praying for rain
A daughter is put for bargain

People are thirsty for blood
Friendship is only a bluff

Path of lovers are bumpy
A child is still hungry

After years no lesson learnt
For dowry a girl is burnt

We are watching people dying
But no one is crying

We are fighting for a temple
As a human we forgot being humble

Our hands are still holding stone
This is how we have grown

We are unable to adjust
Life lacks more trust

Life is sum of only our cheating
Though We feel our heart is beating

Why are we calling ourselves civilized
On this planet we are just a creature disguised


(C) Rakesh Kumar Oct 2010

Racing Horse

I am horse of a derby race
Only runs to save others face

Every one has put bids on me
Who is telling that I am free

At the end my life will be rubbish
I am here to fullfill other's wish

I am running to meet their expectation
Thats the way my destiny has been chosen

Burden of expectation I can't speak
Deep inside I am feeling very weak

Before I was born they put me for auction
Their expectation only defined my life's action

I am tired while running since ages
Turned my life into useless ashes

Always I have to do well
Thats what I have been told

Everyone wants me alwyas to win
It seems I have not got my own will

Few want protection, few want affection
What I want has never got any attention

Few want culture and few want tradition
Following their rule my soul has been beaten

What is there whom I called my own
When my life is only for paying their loan

Neither win or nor loss is mine
To repay the debt is task assigned

(c) Rakesh Kumar Oct. 2010

New Biginning

Why not start a beginning new

Sit together and share minutes few

My heart beats only for you

Those who touch my life are only few

Looking for reason why our path crosses by

I feel lost while looking into your eye

I get distracted and start to think

Watching at your face my eyes don't blink

Today it may be just a small dream

It will be real how impossible it may seem

Just hold my hand I will never bow

Along the way I face fire or snow

Every moment I feel you are the one

Day and night I pray for our union

Create a world fair and lovely

Come lets start a new story

(c) Rakesh Kumar Oct 2010

My words...

When my words were on the ground
My life was full of flowers all around

When my words were angry
I tortured my soul deeply

When my words were stone
I was standing alone

When my words were revolution
I was leading people billion

When my words were sweet
I was having meaningless tweet

When my words were high
I was always touching sky

When my words were softer
I never got the answer

When my words were dark
I only had momentarily spark

When my words were nice
I only attracted mice

When my words were scorn
I was walking with thorn

When my words were bold
I was left shivering with cold

When my words were judgemental
I never got to see what was actual

When my words were command
I never received my demand

When my words were innocent
I was treated as patient

When my words were request
I was always suppressed

When my words were sympathy
I was looked at awfully

When my words were touchy
I was labeled being cozy

When my words were honey coated
Ants and flies were only bred

When my words were love and affection
I never created desired attraction

When my words were for forgvieness
It created an impact endless


© Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2010

काश्मीर के नौजवानों...

काश्मीर घाटी के नौजवानों आज मैं तुम से मुखातिब हूँ..

हाँ, अब तुम को आजादी चाहिए
बड़े हो गए हो तुम अब
कभी जिन पत्थरों से तुम बचपन मैं खेलते थे
आज उनको दूसरों पर फेकने की सामर्थ्य आ गयी है तुमको
कहाँ से आई ये ताकत, ये हिम्मत
उसी माँ के दूध को पी कर पिछले साठ सालो में तुम बड़े हुए हो
जिन पर तुम आज ये पत्थर उछाल रहे हो.
उसी माँ ने तुमको बड़ा किया, बचाया आतंकियों से, पडोसी लुटेरों से
कारगिल के वक्त तुम किधर छुप कर बैठे थे जब ये माँ गोलियाँ खा रही थी
कभी इस माँ ने डाट दिया, खाने में नमक ज्यादा डाल दिया तो
पत्थर फेकने लगे, आज तुम आज़ादी की बात कर रहे हो,
कब बंधन मैं थे तुम, पल दो पल माँ ने आँचल से तुम्हे ढँक दिया तो
तो तुम आज़ादी की बात करने लगे, माँ का आँचल जला दिया
आज तुमको उस आँचल से सांस लेने मैं तकलीफ होने लगी

तुमने कभी सोचा है जिस जमीं से संतूर की आवाज आती थी
अब वहाँ से पत्थरों के टकराने की आवाज क्यों आने लगी
कभी जहाँ की सुबह ओस की धुंध में डूबी रहती थी
वहाँ की शाम कब घर जलने के आग के धुए मैं घिर गयी
कभी तुमने सोचा की तुम्हारे जमीं के फूल कब जंगली हो गए

तुम्हारी घाटी के सेव के लाल रंग ऐसे नहीं हुए हैं
सालों हमने खून से सींचा है उस जमीं को तब उनको ये रंग आया है
और आज इन पर पत्थर उछालते हुए तुम्हारे हाथ नहीं काँप रहे हैं
इन घावों के लिए पीड़ा हमको भी है, हमारे खून मैं भी गुस्सा है,
लड़ना भी आता है हमको कविता लिखने के सिवा

© Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2010

तुम नहीं समझ पाओगे...

इस रचना के लिए मैं जयेन्द्र का आभारी हूँ और ये उसी को समर्पित करता हूँ. धन्यवाद जयेन्द्र..

लिख रहा हूँ कुछ पंक्तियाँ हर बार की तरह
तुम इसे भी नहीं पढ़ पाओगे मेरे प्यार की तरह

दिल के अरमान आज भी बेताब है पहले की तरह
मगर बरसों से लब खामोश हैं गुनाहगार की तरह

तुम्हारी खोज में खुद को समझने लगा हूँ खुदा की तरह
पैर के छाले भी ठंडक दे रहे हैं बर्फ के गोले की तरह

जिंदगी भी मेरी बन गयी है एक वेब पेज की तरह
हर हाइपरलिंक ले जा रहा है तुम्हारी तस्वीर की तरफ

क्यों जा के निकालूं अपने हलक का ये ज़हर
आदत हो गयी मुझ अब जीने की नीलकंठ की तरह

तुम्हारे दिए दिल के ज़ख्म आज भी हरे है बरसों पहले की तरह
कर्ज़दार हूँ इनका जो जीने की वजह बन गए हैं ये मेरे साँसों की तरह

हम तो हवाओं में बिखरे थे खुशबू की तरह
मुठी मैं कैद करने की कोशिस की तुमने एक जुगनू की तरह

खड़ा हूँ आज भी उस मोड पर मूर्ति की तरह
छोडा था जिस जगह हाथ मेरा तुमने एक अनजान की तरह

तुम्हारे लिए था मैं एक पुरानी किताब के एक पन्ने की तरह
साथ पावोगे आज भी तुम मुझे अपने परछाई की तरह

तुम्हारी प्यास बुझाने के लिए हम ठहरे रहे झील के पानी की तरह
चाहता तो मैं भी आकाश छू सकता था समुन्दर की लहरों की तरह

हर शाम तुम्हारी याद को भुलाया है हमने कुछ इस तरह
अपने आंशू भरे प्याले को पिया है हमने जाम की तरह

तुम तो मंदिर में आये थे एक खरीदार की तरह
खुद को सौंप डाला था हमने मगर भगवान के प्रसाद की तरह

दूर है किनारा अकेले चल पड़ा हूँ मैं मौजो की तरफ
मेरा हाल जानने के लिए आना होगा अब तुमको दरिया की तरफ


© Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2010

Meaning of Tears..

What name should I give to tears
Should I call them precious pearl
Or sweet as a innocent baby girl

Are they an early morning dew
Or result of undefined unknown view

Are they sign of bleeding heart
An output of strongest intention thwart
Or form of a crushed dream for many years
Resulted in those drops of tears

Unable to quenched after many cries
Is it the thirst of dried eyes

Are they because of suffering
Or beginning of our crumbling

Are they part of love
Comes when our feeling get shoved

Whether they expressed as victory
Or in defeat when we could not get agree

How to define and what words to say
What meaning tears have to display


© Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2010

At sea shore

Walked a distance to explore
Along the lonely sea shore

Making foot print on soft sand
I looked at red horizon expnad

Salty sea water cold and clean
Waves touching gently my feet

Far away where reaches my sight
I can see blue water kissing sky

Silence of the fallen tree
Defining a beastly beauty

Sensation of cold wind blowing
Singing of the birds flying

Never experienced feeling before
Nature beauty in its finest and pure

© Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2010

Why do I care..

When I don't have a hope for sunlight
Why do I care when is end to night

When there is no tears in my eyes
Why do I care how much I cry

When my goal is only to walk
Why do I care about time to stop

When my dreams have only cheated
Who do I care when I fainted

When you are only things I lost
Why do I care to things I got

When only your words are absent
Why do I care to whatever I listen

When your eyes have only tears
Why do I care how happy world appear

When you don't only pay attention
Why do I care about greatness in my action

When I don't understand meaning of joy
Why do I care if there is anything to enjoy

When you only burnt my picture
Who do care if my house have mirrors

When I don't have your hand to hold
Why do I care if life is full of gold

When you are only keeping deep silence
Why do I care if my heart is vibrant

When you are only at the end of journey
Why do I care to how much my path is bumpy

When I have decided only you to pray
Why do I care if temple is far away

When from my memory you are erased
Why do I care about where are you based

When I can speak with my silence
Why do I care about your presence

When my own shadow is my best friend
Why do I care how to pass my weekend

© Rakesh Kumar Aug 2010

(राकेश के) दोहे

आजकल के नेता भूल गए हैं चिंतन
संसद मैं बैठ कर करें एक दूसरे की माँ बहन

खाना पानी र्दोस्त मित्र सब गए वो भूल
जबसे उनको चढा है सोसल नेटवर्किंग का जनून

अब कैसे अच्छा लगे उनको अपना देश
जबसे उनको मिला है अमरीका मैं प्रवेश

कितना मिले सेलरी कितनी बड़ी है कार
इन सब से ही मिलता है अब सच्चा प्यार

जबसे हुआ है देश मैं इन्टरनेट का प्रसार
तब से लोग भूल गए हैं चीट्ठी और तार

बेच रहें हैं वो शिक्षा खोल कर के स्कूल
कैसे पढेंगे अब गरीब के कलेजे के फूल

जिंदगी के जंग मैं जीत उसी की होई
राजा को बचाने के लिए पैदल जिसने खोई

दो ही पल कठिन गुजरे हैं उनकी याद में
एक आने के पहले और एक जाने के बाद में

आजकल कुछ सिखने का ना जरुरत, ना डर
जब न कुछ आवे तो गूगल मैं बेझिझक सर्च कर

किचन मैं जाकर नारी तू मत हो शर्मशार
जब पति को भूख लगे तो पिज्जा से कर उपचार

माडर्न गर्ल फ्रैंड रखने के सर दर्द है चार
फोन बिल बढे, दोस्त भगे, पैसा घटे, सोने की फुर्सत ना मिल पाए

दो मन्त्र याद रखो अगर बढ़ना है तुमको कॉर्पोरेट वर्ल्ड मैं आगे
अपने बराबर वाले की काटो और अपने ऊपर वाले की चाटो

टीवी पर देखो चैनल खुल गए हैं हजार
मीडिया के दलाल कर रहे हैं न्यूज का व्यापार

Unknown..

How much hard you fight
You will not be able to decide
What will be my ultimate fate
How long I have to wait...

Right now it may be costly
But it will be part of history
Just want to take it slowly
One day I will reach to glory...

Nothing more can get any better
I want you to be with me forever
These words will always be true
That I will always stand for you...

Let me sleep I don't want to wake
Whatever it takes or goes to stake
Don't want to end this dream ever
That you are my life only answer...

Looking at your face makes me blind
Days and night you are in my mind
With you my heart and soul was signed
You fill stars in my empty life
When will you marry and be my wife...

(C)  Rakesh Kumar Aug 2010

If not you then...

If not you, then who
This is final without any argue
You, who forced me to surrender before you

If not you, then who
How difficult it may seem
You, who broke all my dreams

If not you, then who
I was left with option none
You, who forced me to drink posion
You who forced me to live as an orphan

If not you, then who
It was going since ages
You, who broke me into pieces
You, who burnt me into ashes

If not you, then who
I found in my way only thorn
You, who killed me before I was born


(C) Rakesh Kumar aug 2010

बुढा होता देश....

कैसे कह दूँ आज की अब ये देश मेरा है

लडखडाता, गिरता हुआ चलता हुआ ये

जगह जगह इस के शरीर पर पड़ी झुर्रियां

इस के शरीर पर जगह जगह घावों के निशान

बूढ़े हो चले इसके शरीर पर उन घावों से निकालता खून

भिनभिनाती, निचोटती, काटती मक्खिया इसे

कैसे अपना लूँ मैं इसे, कैसे प्यार करूँ मैं इसे

कहाँ गया मेरे सपनो का देश, मेरे बचपन का देश

कहाँ है उस खुशहाल देश का सपना

इस के बेकार हो चुके अंग, कैसे चल पायेगा ये

इस के माथे पर कश्मीर का न सूखने वाला घाव

मुझे तो ये भगवान कृष्ण ॰दारा अशवथामा को दिया गया अभिशाप लगता है

इसके शरीर पर माओवादियों के दिए जा रहे खारोशें

इस के धमनियों मैं बहता भ्रष्टाचार से दूषित खून

और आतंकवादियों के हाथों दिए जाने वाले समय, समय पर

बिजली के झटके कब तक सहन कर पायेगा ये

इसके अंदर अलगाववादियों, धर्म का फैलता कैंसर

घृणा से सिकुड़ती इसकी आँखों की पुतँलिया

राजनेताओं ॰दारा इस के दिल मैं किया जाने वाला सुराख़

कितने दिन बचेगा ये हार्ट अटेक से

इसके अंगों मैं फैला गरीबी का कुष्ठ रोग क्या कभी इसे छोडेगा

लालच और आधुनिकता के दौड मे हर दिन इसका बलातकार करते हम लोग

पड़ोस के भेडिये इसके खून के प्यासे, कैसे बचायेगा ये अपने आप को

दिन, दिन खाँसता कमजोर होती, टुटती साँसें इसकी

कैसे देश बुढा हो गया, युवा हुए बिना ही...

कैसे इस हाल में इसे मैँ छोड़ दू, मैं भी तो इसका ही एक अंग हुँ,

मै भी जिमेमदार हुँ इसके इस हाल का, लेता हँ प्रण इसके इलाज का

मै आज आखिरी साँस के चलने तक....

(c) Rakesh Kumar aug 2010

The Question..

No, I am not your answer
I am a question of your life's chapter.
Which still need to be conquered
Whose answer you always assumed
Whom you ignored over time and time again
The question you many times tried to exhume

The question which you only created
Though its answer you always hated
By doing so always you burnt
Day by day and moment by moment

Sentence you formed and words you put
Behind clusters of many unknown root
You, the reason why it was born
Though many times you were warn

Now for answer, how harder you try
Bending on knees, you beg and cry
Many ways you try it to decipher
Or you run many miles it after
This is what ultimate fate could be
Never realized it could be deadly

How much satisfy with it you claim
Unable to find right answer you blame
Whether you shout or whisper
No one is there to get you answer

You are asker, You are Creator
Now its too late for you to alter
You gave me the shape, created statue
Like or dislike nothing left to argue
You gave height, width and eyes
Now its final whatever you apply

Either you put me in a choice of your place
Or throw me disdainfully in a corner
But you will not be able to erase
Whether you explore or close the door
Now I am forever totally yours
Farther you go, you will find me inside deeper
Whether you cut your past or future...

(c) Rakesh Kumar Aug 2010

Borrow..

Sun was already out
When I got up this morning

Birds were singing

I found myself many things asking..

I asked
From sun warmth in behavior
From bird sweetness in voice

From the grass for greenery in life
From the wind  for openness in choice
From the ocean waves reason to rejoice

And I also asked from sky
Only till a blink of my eyes
Limitless, that if I could borrow

I asked from everyone
And everyone gave

That's the way I lived my life
And whole life I behaved.
This is all about my life
How I survived
Joy, sorrow, pain, warm
Completes my life's form

My life was always empty and hollow
Lived on only things that I borrowed

One day in dark cold night
A unknown voice asked me, polite

Hey, "You lived life with spark"
"Life for you has been hallmark"
"So affluent and rich.
You got a taste of niche."

Will You borrow me some of your love?
Doing so you will take you higher and above

"I promise, I will multiply the return"
"It will be the most profitable earn"

Love borrowed I never theorized
I was shocked and surprised

"The night without sleep"
"The pain, sadness, loneliness"
"Tears without weep"
"The words said, speechless"

"My life depends on it. Listen to my call.
Give me a portion small". She said it all

I am scared and silent
My words are absent
She is still waiting
But I have lost all my judgement


© Rakesh Kumar Aug 2010

To Live in the great way is neither easy or difficult,

but those with limited views are fearful and irresolute.

The faster they hurry the slower they go,

and clinging cannot be limited;

even to be attached to the idea of enlightenment is to go astray.

Just let things be in their own way

and there will be neither coming nor going

--From The Book of Nothing 

Fired

This poem is a conversation between person with his manager, who is suppose to be fired from his job.

Once you have been brilliant
So you were hired
Now there is no work
And you have become a useless jerk
You need to be fired

 We are management who drive company
Our plan failed that's an agony
Someone need to be sacrificed
This is part of game
You are not the only one who cried

Company earning since quarters have been decimal
Though your performance has been exceptional
Take baggage and clear you desk
This is your final settlement cheque

Hard times were near you already knew
But this is time to say adieu
I did more whatever I could
Although I liked working with you

Please be in touch
Nohing more I can do as such
Some time we will join for a beer
Keep my number you are very dear
Be brave you will win many more frontier

(C) Rakesh Kumar aug 2010

All you who...

Recently I started reading work of Vikram Seth and below is the among one of the best poem I have gone through. Its touchy and speak about loneliness..

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.

                    -- Vikram Seth

Your Beauty...

I must say
you are beautiful, why
To world you are not new
But I have a different view

There is no beginning and no end
When I look at sky
The same meaning I give to your eyes

I want to relax and lost forever
In a deep green forest
No place I find elsewhere
When I think about your hair

Brilliance of god
Where I bow impressed
No more meaning to express
The way I feel about your breast

I failed in ultimate test
Winning a gold medal in Olympic race
A most difficult case
I don't have word to describe your face

A long affair
Nothing left to compare
A final creation of Aztec
The same example I find in your neck.

My source to rejoice
The early morning chirping of birds
I ask no more choice
I find mesmerized when I hear your voice

My life is barren
Your beauty is source to sun
A reason to survive
I pray for your presence in my life
Against all the goods I have done
I compare you to none..

(C)Rakesh Kumar

Misguided Crowd...

Recently I saw couple of things that were misguided and completely out context. e.g. campaign run by media and social organization which involves public awareness, giving message to people and crowd. Now i am not going to reason whether they are going to be successful or not. They are still better then not doing however i have my own reservation about their effectiveness and how they are misguided and targeted to wrong people and place. even 1/10 of the same effort directed at right set of people would have eradicated the problem long back. Let look back some of thing done to fool public

• Save Tiger: Save tiger run by various media  houses and agencies. NDTV is running this campaign by signing in malls, shopping complexes and displaying awareness ads in its channel. Now just think about the people who are  being targeted. People who watch NDTV 24X7, people who shop in the malls people who watch a English channel, people who resides in metros. Just think how many of people living in metros go and hunt tigers or they use or buy product made of tiger.  None! These people need not be be told about dwindling population of tigers. What difference its going to make to tigers, me grumbling while watching news about their decreasing population and sitting in bed room if i am not involve in any of the process either of saving or killing of tigers. Just a wishful thinking is going to save them right? Its different things that by by going to a shopping mall signing the campaign and wearing t-shirt I will feel different and satisfied by getting away of my responsibilities. The people who hunt them will be doing it right now in the remote area of west Bengal or any other tiger inhabitant. They are not watching NDTV for latest news, or shopping in any Metro city or malls. If these agencies are really committed to save tiger they should go to villages near tiger inhabitant or jungle and educate those people who hunt them, encroach them or kill them,   These agencies should fight for industrialization of forest area to preseve the forest. or they arrange money to equip forest rangers with latest equipment to fight with hunters. Tiger doesn't come in Bangalore or Delhi where Ineed to be aware about these things or my wishful thinking or signing campaign is not going to save them. Those who hunt them don't know how sign or write a word or watch NDTV for sure. they will continue doing so....
• Organic food: This one of the biggest hype created and people are crazy about it. As per definition Organic food or vegetables means they are grown, processed and packaged using natural resources without using any chemical during whole food production cycle, no use of chemical food or pesticide. Lets see how far this is possible. and how organic word is misused. Let me go back to school days in10+2 when I studies organic and inorganic chemistry as subject. I as per definition  organic mean vital for life, means study of compound which were supposed to be vital for survival of human life or cells. Carbon(C) is found in every compound so its basically studies of compound based on carbon 'C' or contains C in structure while also consisting of other elements such as oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen etc found in abundance in environment. The thing to note down is the organic word is not environment friendly always. If you say that if you are using organic material there is no guarantee you are doing good for environment e.g. burning coal, full of carbon a organic compund or using petrol or diesel in car, a organic material and end result of them is also a organic compound CO2, now responsible for global warming. What do we mean by organic or bio fuel. The same existing fuel is still organic and bio, made form tree after decomposition over million years. Lets talk about organic food, vegetables here, Urea (NH2)2CO which is root of all fertilizer in whole world is a organic compound and its used as fertilizing agent in soil, either produce in factory or naturally.  Now if you are using Urea for farming you can also say its organically produced and material used to grow was organic material that's what every farmer has been doing currently. So what is new in organically produced food. All fertilizer uses urea for nitrogen synthesis and it has been done since ages. If you didn't use any chemical even urea in growing particular food then how did u produce them. The natural fertilizing capacity of soil will go in 3-4 round of cultivation and u need to supply it through some sort of fertilizer. So organic producer must be changing their farming land after every 3-4 years.  You cant grow 500gm of tomato or 300gm of big potato naturally without fertilizers everytime. All corps produced require fertilizers whether u use Urea or any bio fertilizer. You cant produce bio fertilizer in 1 week it has to go through natural decomposition cycle to produce same urea. The point is about synthesis of urea naturally or artificially.  The only benefit are not using Urea is the impact of factory on environment where Urea is synthesized or produced. How much??. Second thing is about using other chemical like pesticide etc which is hardly or only used  by farmers in India when there is seasonal disease or attack by insect. Now those who claim that they don't use any chemical how will deal with such situation? Must be putting insect net or putting sign board warning insect not come in field.   Also if you are not using any type of as fertilizer in your cultivation then you must be extremely poor farmer of India using old technique and you don't know anything about farming, suicide is only things left for you. All corps fruits produced are organic food since ages as there is no such things as Inorganic food, vegetables or cultivation. All food are organic chemically. Why to make noise about it. If we really want to help environment we need to start eating everything raw and naturally thus saving energy from cooking, preserving food or processing food.
• Green technology: Now a days every new product claims to be developed using green technology. What it means when something is created using green technology. e.g.  so and so product are made by using green technology. so what is big deal about it. Basically Green technology means developing or producing something with use of minimum natural resources, produce using reusable, recycled inputs. I am not sure how its different as every waste or raw material is recycled an some what ways and consumed in way by a interlinked entity in the production chain some time the impact is more sometime impact is less. If some one says that this tube light is made using green technology what to understand? If a particular TV is made using Green technology i don't know what that means? Were tree, branches or grass were used  to made that bulb or TV. May be they are now using less input material or may be they are consuming less power, but thats realive term. May be they are recycled more, but then its part of evolution and advances, suddenly how things become green. If we have been able to develop a smarter chip with less space and less power consumption how suddenly it become a green technology. did not same process or input material were used may be bit less amount or different way. How things become environment friendly. Consuming less from nature only slows the depletion of resources. It doesn't make nature friendly. slapping someone 5 times instead of 10 times doesn't make make me friendly with that person. People say green technology is environment friendly and less toxic and less damage to environment, Good but till when.. unless someone comes with new research and finding and shows some new facts about damaging environment... past science advances are full of such example.. till then enjoy green technology. 

All I want...

Is it too much to ask?
Does it seems to be a difficult task?
Day after day laying numb and cold
All I want is a hand to hold


Is It too late?
This is what written in my fate
How much harder should I try?
All I want is someone for die


Am I getting blind?
No one whom I call kind
Why world is full of pain
All I want is dance in rain


Am I fading fast?
Have I spent my prime past?
Should i call life unfair
All I want is someone to care


Am I difficult guy?
Is it time to say goodbye?
Any reason why I can't fly
All I want is to lost in her eyes


Am I growing old?
Unable to understand what is told
Is it a sign of a my end?
All I want is to become her friend


Is it too much of concern?
How long I will suffer burn?
Can I heal it any better?
All I want is to walk together


Do I lack any responsibility?
Why my hands are empty?
This what my ulimate test
All I want is a shoulder to rest


Is this a reason to be upset?
When there is evening sunset
Is there no more beauty and charm
All I want is to take her in my arms


Is it my so called greed
Why my prayer lack heed
So many thing in life I missed
All I want is someone to kiss


Is it my ultimate bane?
Why no one is to share my pain?
I need a perfect doctor
All I want is a life partner


© Rakesh Kumar July 2009