Add One More Year...

Add one more year 

To my dreams vanishing in thin air

Another disillusioned year just passed

I never cared how many days it last

Sometime it was fast and sometime it was slow

Occasionally high and mainly low

I was only part of this freaking show

Life is slipping away and I don’t care

Tells my head’s disappearing hair

I can see it more clearly now

As i don’t feel wind in my hair

A new year will soon appear

And devil will have its new plan

Already wrapped me in chain

He will control me, make me dance

And now I can’t run away from this pain

May be this year it will treat me better

But voice in my head tell 

I will never get what I deserve

As it will only serve

What was written in his letters

© Rakesh Kumar Dec. 2016

Starving for Change....

Desperate for the truth
And starving for change
I am poisoning my heart

With this feeling strange

After chasing all years 

Close only to where it started

Standing here in queue

While selling on my dreams

If only in the beginning 

I ever had knew

I am competing to complete

While doubting on what all lacking

Why I accepted this invitation

Which took all of me

Now I am wandering

About my next move

Thinking day and night

What else more I need to prove...

© Rakesh Kumar Dec. 2016

On the Road...(incomplete)

The road was  empty and night was dark
And no one was far away in sight
There was chill in the wind too that night
But a family could not imagined their plight

A mother daughter and father were going far
When on the highway a group of men stopped their car
In a moment they were all captured
They took mother and daughter in near by farm
And their call for help never got answered

Helplessly nothing a father could do

While a wife and daughter screamed loud

Unable to protect his wife and daughter

Suffering he has been through

In a blink of eyes

A daughter innocence as stolen

Life of family was shattered and broken

He wished he would not had survived
While they tortured a mother and daughter
He cried & pleaded them to stop
But these men lust didn't stop
In matter of second a family life's were torn

Next morning it was all there in news
As usual we will react with despise

Life goes on and  how much we care

Those who did will never not fear
But their won't be any dream in those eyes
And their tears will never go dry

Their future will be full of weep
And they will never find sleep
Few people may gather at India Gate
Someone will also assured them from state

As our memories are very short

Similar things have occurred also in past

And this too will be forgotten fast

Until there will be one more new story
Where one more life will be added to this list


© Rakesh Kumar, Nov. 2016

Sermon...

Go with the flow 
Doesn't matter how fast or slow 
Just keep going 
Keep seed sowing 
And keeps on things growing 

You got to Be rough 
Doesn't matter if its Easy or tough  
Sprang your luff 
Until you get enough 

And path you walk will not be rosy 
I also don't promise things to be easy 
Ultimately you will know 
That you have grown 

Your dreams are very far 
But you can see them shining 
Like a distant star 
Go after & spread your wings 
What have you been waiting for? 

You aim to be there 
But don't know yet how
How to go where? 
But you have to give it try 
It doesn't matter if you have to cry 

Many times you will fall 
But don't be afraid 
There is more to what you got all 
Stand tall in the dark 
Give it one more try 
Before you die 

Don't care what people say 
Because you only know there is a ray 
Many years from now 
You will carry the pain 
Not because things you have lost 
But thing you didn't gain 
Those things you didn't do 
Path you didn't walk and go 

So why don't you throw your shyness 
Stop feeding yourself on others diet 
That you have to be them to nice 
Be ready & face the cut 
You have got the gut 

This was growing inside you since long 
Keep coming back like a ping pong 
Lift your face and join this race 
Don't care about your tears now 
No one care about when they get dry 
Stand on your feet and give it a try 

Along the way you will face many thirst 
Your soul will also get crushed 
Your body will be bruised 
And you will be hanged on the cruce
But you never cared for the pain 
They are nothing but seasonal rain 
And now why do you care 
When no one was spared 

Nothing you got till now 
Your hands are bare 
Don't care what have you got to choose 
You have got nothing to lose 

All are the same 
Now you don't understand 
That all these are part of the game 
You have only choice to be a player 
Or just an spectator 
What matters is the role 
You play as the actor 

Don't worry how you perform 
Its nothing but a scrapped program 
People may like, people may not 
But thinking what they think 
You only let your soul to rot 

You are divided 
Because you are caring about things 
That you have been provided 
They have not been helpful 
And neither resourceful 

World has come this far 
Because of those who dared to try 
The fish who jumped 
Out of the water 
The bird who attempted to fly 
And the primitive who decided to stand & walk 
You may not live perfectly 
But you have to keep on learning 
As your journey is yet far  

What you choose, What you do? 
Will your action be blur? 
Or some form of an art 
Experiment boldly
And you will be an amber

Your life will be spontaneous change 
Don't resist it
Explore your talents range 
Don't be impatience 
All meaning full things will take time 
You have to practice and express 
Occasionally you will suck 
But its okay 

You have perseverance  
To be amazing one day 
Challenge your limits 
Challenge your boundaries' 
Fight the fear 
That is stopping you living your best 
And till then you need no rest... 

© Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2016

Part was Set...

Party was set
Evening was fine 
Though outside it rained light 
We had reflection of world 
In glasses filled with scotches and wine
Empty plates, thoughts expressed 
Somehow our views were compressed 
After while alcohol surges our soul 
And we surrender ourselves whole 
Thus our lives passes 
Like melting ice cubes in glasses 

 © Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2016

रात भर घर के बाहर बारिश का काफी शोर था
बेचैन था सो नहीं पाया
मन के भीतर भी काफी था

कहीं न कहीं कुछ उबल रहा है आजकल
किचन में गैस पर बनती हुई चाय
और टेलीविज़न देखते हुए मेरा  मन

ज़िन्दगी से गिला बस इतना है मुझे
पोंछ पोंछ कर थक गया
पर अभी थक गीला मन  सूखा  नहीं

आज भी उन्ही रास्तों से गुजरता हूँ चुपचाप
जहाँ पर मेरे पैरों से ठोकर लगे हुए पत्थर आज मंदिर में विराजमान हैं
अब सर झुका कर अब ध्यान से चलता हूँ मैं

सपनों  के टूटने की आवाज नहीं होती
वरना पता चलते ही सेलो टेप से चिपका लेते उनको
कुछ दिन और चल जाते शायद

मन का जंगलीपन अभी गया नहीं
हर वक़्त भटकता रहता है
कम्बख़त थकता भी कभी नहीं है

© Rakesh Kumar Aug. 2016

अभी तक मेरे सफर का अंजाम यही है 
चल चल कर थक गया मगर मंज़िल का पता नहीं है 

दस्तक दी पहुँच कर मंज़िलों के दरों पर 
हर बार आवाज आयी तुम्हारा ठिकाना यहां नहीं है 

क्या खोया क्या पाया गिर कहीं उठा कहीं 
हिसाब करूँ क्या जब दर्द से अभी दामन भरा नहीं 

सपनो की तमन्ना में जाने नींद  कहाँ खो गयी 
कितनी रातें गुजर गयी और मैं सोया अभी नहीं है 

हर वक़्त लबों पर हंसी को सजा कर है रखता हूँ 
गिला है बस इतना की अश्कों से मेरा दामन भरा नहीं 

बरसों  गुजर गए ज़िन्दगी जीने की राह में 
नादान हैं हम जो ठहरे अभी तक नहीं 

कभी अपनी तो कभी सबकी सुनी है 
बस अपने दिल की आवाज अभी तक सुनी नहीं है 

पढोगे अगर गौर से तुम ये कविता कभी  
जान पाओगे वो दर्द मेरे दिल ने कभी कही नहीं है 

© Rakesh kumar June 2016

Fighting in a deep dark void
I am searching for a reason to rejoice
Clinging on so called life

With each passing day 

Cut by my own knife

Ripped, I bleed inside

And I think of myself
Floating in clouds of my thoughts
About what I was,
What I have become & what I want
How I lost to my own plot?

Worried about right and wrong
When I was weak & when strong
Eaten away from inside
Nothing but by my own lies

Chained by my fears of unknown
Who are trying me to hold
I feel paralysed

They slowly takes over me

And I close my eyes
Looking what left inside me to buy

I wander more deep in thoughts
About running from this world
But where?
With my bruised body
And soul full of blots

Finally I surrender my soul
Without knowing what I want

After taking all that I can bare
I let my spirit drown in despair

Without caring where it fall

I curled my self in a suffering ball

With blurred vision & being shattered

I want to call for help

But now it doesn't matter

Slowly I move away from light

Let myself darkness to own

I embraces it tight
While it drags my soul to a new home

© Rakesh Kumar Jan. 2016

Goodbye 2015, Welcome 2016

A new year however same fixed way of thinking & acting?

Looking back to year passed by it was a year with roller coaster ride emotionally as well as physically . I was able to reach closer to couple of my goals set at the beginning of the year.  This year went by quickly first couple of month I was busy with job changes preparation & interview pending from last year. Helped my wife with clinic to grow further.  during later half i was able to make a job change which was one of the major pending goal since a year an half.  later half i was occupied with  settling in new job only and it passed very quickly. It was a busy year  with little bit of fun  could not plan any travel or to visit any new place only confined to my home, clinic or office.

I stared worked on couple of my own idea but all were abandoned  at early stages still lying unfinished her and there.

Looking back to year ahead i expecting to spread my wings in all walks of life, thoughts, ideas, fun with all possibilities and without any limitations or boundaries with focus on important aspect of life and reserving time and energy for them only. I will be knocking & facing to those/things/fear which were holding me back till now. This year is suppose to be create, grow & be free in all walks of life be it thinking, fear, ideas etc.