Wednesday, January 04, 2017


आप भी महसूस करेंगे गए नए नोट के ताप को
जब धुप में खड़े होकर कोस रहे होंगे बैंक के कतार को
जिस लाइन में खड़ा होकर एक बूढा मर गया
बुधिया के सर से उसके बाप का साया उठ गया

ले चलता हूँ आप को दिल्ली से सौ कोस दूर पर
एक छोटा शहर जहाँ भूक प्यास के यातना से  डूब कर
मर गया खुसिया का बाप एटीएम की लाइन में टूट कर

एक झटके में जिंदगी का मौसम बदल गया
मजदूरी से जो कमाया वो पुराने नोट में जल गया
हरुआ अब पेट की आग बुझा रहा मछली पकड़ कर ताल में

कला धन का वादा एक जुमला चुनावी है
उस मजदूर के किस्मत में बुनयादी खराबी है
ए टी म की के खोज में आज वो भटक रहा है शहर के कोने में 

जरुरी नहीं की हर घर में छुपा है ब्लैक मनी की टोकरी
बस एक मंत्री हर के घर में  मिल जायेगा कॅश में रोकड़ी
जिन चनद कागज के टुकड़ों  के लिए गुजार दी हमने ज़िन्दगी
डर लग रहा की उनके  वजह से अब लग जाये ना हमे हथकड़ी

एक वकील सीखा रहा इकोनॉमिस्ट को नयी भाषा
सरकार देश की इकॉनमी को हर रोज दे रही है नयी दिशा
कौन ध्यान रखता है अब बैंक की भीड़ में कौन कुचला   

भरस्टाचार वेश बदल रही है आजकल पहरों में
अच्छे बुरे की समझ खो गयी संसद के शोर में
राम राज्य का वादा है कल सुबह के भोर में

लेकिन सरकार मस्त है अच्छे दिन के प्रचार में
हमारे नोट की कीमत न हो कल के बाजार
गवर्नर साब अब मत छापियेगा ऐसा नोट अपनी टकसाल में

© Rakesh Kumar Dec. 2016

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Add One More Year...

Add one more year 
To my dreams vanishing in thin air
Another disillusioned year just passed
I never cared how many days it last

Sometime it was fast and sometime it was slow
Occasionally high and mainly low
I was only part of this freaking show

Life is slipping away and I don’t care
Tells my head’s disappearing hair
I can see it more clearly now
As i don’t feel wind in my hair

A new year will soon appear
And devil will have its new plan
Already wrapped me in chain
He will control me, make me dance
And now I can’t run away from this pain

May be this year it will treat me better
But voice in my head tell 
I will never get what I deserve
As it will only serve
What was written in his letters

© Rakesh Kumar Dec. 2016

Wednesday, December 07, 2016

Starving for Change....

Desperate for the truth
And starving for change
I am poisoning my heart
With this feeling strange

After chasing all years 
Close only to where it started
Standing here in queue
While selling on my dreams
If only in the beginning 
I ever had knew

I am competing to complete
While doubting on what all lacking
Why I accepted this invitation
Which took all of me

Now I am wandering
About my next move
Thinking day and night
What else more I need to prove...

© Rakesh Kumar Dec. 2016

Thursday, November 10, 2016

On the Road...(incomplete)

The road was  empty and night was dark
And no one was far away in sight
There was chill in the wind too that night
But a family could not imagined their plight

A mother daughter and father were going far
When on the highway a group of men stopped their car
In a moment they were all captured
They took mother and daughter in near by farm
And their call for help never got answered

Helplessly nothing a father could do
While a wife and daughter screamed loud
Unable to protect his wife and daughter
Suffering he has been through
In a blink of eyes
A daughter innocence as stolen
Life of family was shattered and broken

He wished he would not had survived
While they tortured a mother and daughter
He cried & pleaded them to stop
But these men lust didn't stop
In matter of second a family life's were torn

Next morning it was all there in news
As usual we will react with despise
Life goes on and  how much we care
Those who did will never not fear
But their won't be any dream in those eyes
And their tears will never go dry

Their future will be full of weep
And they will never find sleep
Few people may gather at India Gate
Someone will also assured them from state

As our memories are very short
Similar things have occurred also in past
And this too will be forgotten fast
Until there will be one more new story
Where one more life will be added to this list

© Rakesh Kumar, Nov. 2016

Sunday, October 09, 2016


Go with the flow 
Doesn't matter how fast or slow 
Just keep going 
Keep seed sowing 
And keeps on things growing 

You got to Be rough 
Doesn't matter if its Easy or tough  
Sprang your luff 
Until you get enough 

And path you walk will not be rosy 
I also don't promise things to be easy 
Ultimately you will know 
That you have grown 

Your dreams are very far 
But you can see them shining 
Like a distant star 
Go after & spread your wings 
What have you been waiting for? 

You aim to be there 
But don't know yet how
How to go where? 
But you have to give it try 
It doesn't matter if you have to cry 

Many times you will fall 
But don't be afraid 
There is more to what you got all 
Stand tall in the dark 
Give it one more try 
Before you die 

Don't care what people say 
Because you only know there is a ray 
Many years from now 
You will carry the pain 
Not because things you have lost 
But thing you didn't gain 
Those things you didn't do 
Path you didn't walk and go 

So why don't you throw your shyness 
Stop feeding yourself on others diet 
That you have to be them to nice 
Be ready & face the cut 
You have got the gut 

This was growing inside you since long 
Keep coming back like a ping pong 
Lift your face and join this race 
Don't care about your tears now 
No one care about when they get dry 
Stand on your feet and give it a try 

Along the way you will face many thirst 
Your soul will also get crushed 
Your body will be bruised 
And you will be hanged on the cruce
But you never cared for the pain 
They are nothing but seasonal rain 
And now why do you care 
When no one was spared 

Nothing you got till now 
Your hands are bare 
Don't care what have you got to choose 
You have got nothing to lose 

All are the same 
Now you don't understand 
That all these are part of the game 
You have only choice to be a player 
Or just an spectator 
What matters is the role 
You play as the actor 

Don't worry how you perform 
Its nothing but a scrapped program 
People may like, people may not 
But thinking what they think 
You only let your soul to rot 

You are divided 
Because you are caring about things 
That you have been provided 
They have not been helpful 
And neither resourceful 

World has come this far 
Because of those who dared to try 
The fish who jumped 
Out of the water 
The bird who attempted to fly 
And the primitive who decided to stand & walk 
You may not live perfectly 
But you have to keep on learning 
As your journey is yet far  

What you choose, What you do? 
Will your action be blur? 
Or some form of an art 
Experiment boldly
And you will be an amber

Your life will be spontaneous change 
Don't resist it
Explore your talents range 
Don't be impatience 
All meaning full things will take time 
You have to practice and express 
Occasionally you will suck 
But its okay 

You have perseverance  
To be amazing one day 
Challenge your limits 
Challenge your boundaries' 
Fight the fear 
That is stopping you living your best 
And till then you need no rest... 

© Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2016

Part was Set...

Party was set
Evening was fine 
Though outside it rained light 
We had reflection of world 
In glasses filled with scotches and wine
Empty plates, thoughts expressed 
Somehow our views were compressed 
After while alcohol surges our soul 
And we surrender ourselves whole 
Thus our lives passes 
Like melting ice cubes in glasses 

 © Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2016

Sunday, August 21, 2016

रात भर घर के बाहर बारिश का काफी शोर था
बेचैन था सो नहीं पाया
मन के भीतर भी काफी था

कहीं न कहीं कुछ उबल रहा है आजकल
किचन में गैस पर बनती हुई चाय
और टेलीविज़न देखते हुए मेरा  मन

ज़िन्दगी से गिला बस इतना है मुझे
पोंछ पोंछ कर थक गया
पर अभी थक गीला मन  सूखा  नहीं

आज भी उन्ही रास्तों से गुजरता हूँ चुपचाप
जहाँ पर मेरे पैरों से ठोकर लगे हुए पत्थर आज मंदिर में विराजमान हैं
अब सर झुका कर अब ध्यान से चलता हूँ मैं

सपनों  के टूटने की आवाज नहीं होती
वरना पता चलते ही सेलो टेप से चिपका लेते उनको
कुछ दिन और चल जाते शायद

मन का जंगलीपन अभी गया नहीं
हर वक़्त भटकता रहता है
कम्बख़त थकता भी कभी नहीं है

© Rakesh Kumar Aug. 2016

Saturday, June 18, 2016

अभी तक मेरे सफर का अंजाम यही है 
चल चल कर थक गया मगर मंज़िल का पता नहीं है 

दस्तक दी पहुँच कर मंज़िलों के दरों पर 
हर बार आवाज आयी तुम्हारा ठिकाना यहां नहीं है 

क्या खोया क्या पाया गिर कहीं उठा कहीं 
हिसाब करूँ क्या जब दर्द से अभी दामन भरा नहीं 

सपनो की तमन्ना में जाने नींद  कहाँ खो गयी 
कितनी रातें गुजर गयी और मैं सोया अभी नहीं है 

हर वक़्त लबों पर हंसी को सजा कर है रखता हूँ 
गिला है बस इतना की अश्कों से मेरा दामन भरा नहीं 

बरसों  गुजर गए ज़िन्दगी जीने की राह में 
नादान हैं हम जो ठहरे अभी तक नहीं 

कभी अपनी तो कभी सबकी सुनी है 
बस अपने दिल की आवाज अभी तक सुनी नहीं है 

पढोगे अगर गौर से तुम ये कविता कभी  
जान पाओगे वो दर्द मेरे दिल ने कभी कही नहीं है 

© Rakesh kumar June 2016

Saturday, January 02, 2016

Fighting in a deep dark void
I am searching for a reason to rejoice
Clinging on so called life
With each passing day 
Cut by my own knife
Ripped, I bleed inside

And I think of myself
Floating in clouds of my thoughts
About what I was,
What I have become & what I want
How I lost to my own plot?

Worried about right and wrong

When I was weak & when strong
Eaten away from inside
Nothing but by my own lies

Chained by my fears of unknown
Who are trying me to hold
I feel paralysed
They slowly takes over me
And I close my eyes
Looking what left inside me to buy

I wander more deep in thoughts
About running from this world
But where?
With my bruised body
And soul full of blots

Finally I surrender my soul

Without knowing what I want
After taking all that I can bare
I let my spirit drown in despair

Without caring where it fall
I curled my self in a suffering ball
With blurred vision & being shattered
I want to call for help
But now it doesn't matter

Slowly I move away from light
Let myself darkness to own
I embraces it tight
While it drags my soul to a new home

© Rakesh Kumar Jan. 2016

Goodbye 2015, Welcome 2016

A new year however same fixed way of thinking & acting?

Looking back to year passed by it was a year with roller coaster ride emotionally as well as physically . I was able to reach closer to couple of my goals set at the beginning of the year.  This year went by quickly first couple of month I was busy with job changes preparation & interview pending from last year. Helped my wife with clinic to grow further.  during later half i was able to make a job change which was one of the major pending goal since a year an half.  later half i was occupied with  settling in new job only and it passed very quickly. It was a busy year  with little bit of fun  could not plan any travel or to visit any new place only confined to my home, clinic or office.
I stared worked on couple of my own idea but all were abandoned  at early stages still lying unfinished her and there.

Looking back to year ahead i expecting to spread my wings in all walks of life, thoughts, ideas, fun with all possibilities and without any limitations or boundaries with focus on important aspect of life and reserving time and energy for them only. I will be knocking & facing to those/things/fear which were holding me back till now. This year is suppose to be create, grow & be free in all walks of life be it thinking, fear, ideas etc.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Life's Journey

Life is a journey
By choices I make
One ends, other starts

Life is a journey
By questions I ask
And the answer I get

Life is a journey
By pains and tears
With hate and laughters

Life is a journey
With frustration and celebration
To reach one's destination

© Rakesh kumar Dec. 2015

Friday, October 02, 2015

अब ना वो दिल मेरे पास है न वो दर्द  
अब नहीं रहा मेरे पास कुछ आजमाने को 

अब न वो जाम है न पीने पिलाने वाले 
खाली पैमाने लिए बैठा रहता हूँ याद कर के पुराने अफसानों को 

ना पीने का मन था न पिलाने की तमन्ना 
आया था बस महखाने की रौनकें बढ़ाने को 

बर्षों गुजर गए इस दिल को समझाने में 
क्यों सिर्फ हमी बुरे लगे इस ज़माने को   

ज़िन्दगी की किताब हाथों में लिए बैठा रहता हूँ 
कोई पूछे तो फिर भी नही है मेरे पास कुछ समझाने को 

थक गया हूँ मगर फिर भी चलता रहता हूँ 
मज़िल है बहुत दूर और समय नहीं है सुस्ताने को 

कोरे कागजो का इस्तेमाल किया मैंने अपने अश्कों को सुखाने में 
जब शब्द नहीं मिले मुझे कबिता बनाने को 

© Rakesh Kumar Oct. 2015

Saturday, August 15, 2015


Let go of the past
Past are dead moments
And you don't love dead
Don't let them to spoil your current
Lift yourself and face the front

Encourage courage
Embrace failure
Now things may be blur
But you will find the answer

Do the opposite
Don't be scare of cut
Always question but
And go with your gut

Put yourself out of business.
Wander aimless, stop being anxious
Imagine the possibilities
Feel the breeze
Stand on your knees

Reject limits, Aim beyond
You are still capable and strong
There are many things you can still buy
Only you need a will to try

© Rakesh Kumar, Aug. 2015.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

शिक्षा का व्यापार...

जब मिले न कोई रोजगार 
शरू कर दो शिक्षा का व्यापार 
स्कूल, कॉलेज में लाला का आवारा बेटा रहा फिसड्डी
पर धनी बाप का बेटा ठहरा तो किस्मत तेज निकली 
बाप ने खोला स्कूल और बनाया उसको प्राध्यापक 
किस्मत का फेर की अब वो करवा रहा बच्चों से दंड बैठक 
मंत्री के घर पहुँचाया थैला भर के पैसा 
फिर स्कूल को मान्यता मिलने में भला देर होवे कैसा 
हर गली, नुक्कड़ पर है बेरोजगारों की लगी है मण्डली 
ग्रेजुएट बेचे पान और इंजीनियर बना है संत्री 
टीचर मिल जायेंगे बेर के भाव 
रख लो उनको देकर अपनी ताव 
अब तक लाला बेच रहे थे नून, तेल, मसाला 
अब देखिये शुरू किया है उन्होने शिक्षा का बैंड बजाना 
स्कूल में किया ढेरों का फर्जी एडमिशन 
मिड डे का मिल खाया, बटोरा जम के कमीशन 
हर एग्जाम का रेट किया है फिक्स 
अनपढ, गँवार अब मार रहे हैं सिक्स 
पडोसी का बेटा दे रहा पप्पू का एग्जाम 
पास होकर भी करेगा वो केवल समाज को बदनाम 
क्या फर्क पड़ता है की डिग्री असली है या फ़र्ज़ी 
पैसा सरका देगा जब देना होगा नौकरी की अर्ज़ी 
आदर्श हो गए हैं अब खोखले, मक्कारी है प्रचंड 
इन शिक्षा के दलालों को कैसे मिले दंड 

© Rakesh Kumar May 2015


Friday, April 10, 2015


At some where while living life
We forget to understand aim of life
Day by day confused and alone
Trying to face what life has thrown

Everywhere things looks gloomy
While WE try to survive in never ending sea
Feeling sad though surrounded by people dear
And Purpose of life appear no where

Day by day a void seems getting bigger
We keep on playing character of an actor
The character of play written by unknown
Life appears only living on a loan

While trying to forget we forgot to live
There is nothing more left for us to give
Fighting with thoughts that stuck to our mind
When was the last we appeared happy and fine?

Sure Darkness will fad way with sunshine
Yet miles to go when we reach goal line
We have strength for many things to cope
And there still remain a distant hope
That our spirit still has resolve
Any problem life offer us to solve

© Rakesh Kumar Apr 2015

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Duffer...

I am the only duffer
To whom life has nothing to offer
Whatever I try or many ways I cry
I cant pay the price and buy
What life has offer to sell
Once more, try once more, try
This the story what I use to tell
However now it all seems a lie
I had poured all my passion
But life has offered me none
I again tell myself, NO, I am not done
There is no fun if I have not won
Are my expectation are too high
Which is making me feel dry
One after another defeat
All of my life the same story I repeat
Is this the way life has decided to teach
Should I believe what I am doing is wrong
And these are not the lines of my song......

© Rakesh Kumar Jan 2015

Friday, October 17, 2014


What to define and what to say
What cause anger has to represent
How to understand meaning behind it
Has it ever lead to any benefit 

During anger why we get mad
Does it results if someone is sad
What may be root its always bad

Anger comes in different ways 
Root of anger is a form of suppression
Which comes as an uncontrolled expression
Anger is not about getting violent
Its most powerful when it becomes silent

Sometime it result of unfulfilled expectation 
And it may be due to long time frustration
Or when patience rewards us a surprise
Anger is the one which only satisfies

Anger is not always what it seems
Its also a cause of broken dreams
It express a gap in reality and perception
Burst when person is unable to accept situation

Anger expressed may put you in danger
And you may not always get the right answer
Under its effect there is no right action
Consequence of anger is always destruction

(C) Rakesh Kumar Oct 2014

Saturday, September 13, 2014

जी रहा हूँ किश्तों में...

ज़िन्दगी का क़र्ज़ अदा कर रहा हूँ किश्तों में
जी रहा हूँ बाँट कर मैं खुद को कई रिश्तों में

अब भी ज़िंदा रहने का कुछ तो एहसान उतारना बाकी है
याद रखता हूँ हर पल मैं इनको अपनी फ़ितरतों में

क्या हिसाब रखता की ज़िन्दगी में क्या खोया और क्या पाया
जब खुद को ही गवा चूका हूँ मैं गुजरे हुए रास्तों में

तमाम उम्र भटकता ही रहा सपनो की खोज में
एहसास हुआ अब जब टकराया हूँ मैं हकीकतों से

जिंदगी बीत गयी खुदी में खुद को खोजते हुए
क्या उम्मीद रखूं की अब क्या मिलेगा मुझे फरिश्तों से

जिन्दा रहने का एह्साह तो चंद आती जाती सांसें ही थी
वरना जिंदगी तो गुजर गयी थी बस कुछ ही लम्हों की गस्तों में

आ गया था तो दुनिया में चंद लम्हे गुजार कर ही जा रहा हूँ
दुनिया वालों वरना क्या रखा था तुम्हारे गुलिस्तों में

(C) Rakesh Kumar Sept. 2014

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

कुछ क्रोध में जी रहे हैं
और कुछ हताशा में जी रहे हैं
कुछ इश्र्य में जी रहे हैं
और कुछ घ्रिदा में जी रहे है
कुछ जाग कर जी रहे हैं
और कुछ नीद में जी रहे हैं
कुछ सपनों में जी रहे है
और कुछ हकीकत को जी रहे है
कुछ मौत में जी रहे है
और कुछ जेंदगी मैं जे रहे है
कुछ अमीरी में जे रहे हैं
और कुछ गरीबी में जी रहे हैं
कुछ स्वाभिमान में जे रहे है
और कुछ अपमान में जे रहे हैं
सभी जी रहे हैं किसी न किसी तरह 

(C) Rakesh Kumar 

Saturday, August 23, 2014

In Between...

In between truth and lie  
In between day and night  
In between right and wrong  
In between weak and strong  
In between defeat and victory  
In between physics and chemistry  
In between far and near   
In between enemy and dear   
In between smile and tears  
In between rich and poor  
In between dark and light   
In between day and night  
In between death and  life  
In between east and west   
In between tiredness and rest  
In between love and hate   
In between heart and head  
In between fast and slow   
In between stagnant and grow  
In between blind and sight   
In between happiness and sorrow  
In between dark and white  
In between husband and wife   
In between ours and theirs  
In between you and me  
In between success and failure  
In between I and we  
In between fact and fiction  
In between calm and wild  
In between hot and cold  
In between shyness and bold  
In between space and earth  
In between death and birth  
In between atom and universe  
In between nothing and everything  
In between what else....  

(C) Rakesh Kumar Aug 2014

Friday, May 09, 2014

सुबह, सुबह एक ख्वाब...

सुबह, सुबह एक ख्वाब की दस्तक पर फेसबुक पर login किया तो देखा
मेरे प्रोफाइल पर बहुत सारे notifications और update आये हैं  
वही दोस्तों के नए, पुराने और घिसे, पिटे updates
कुछ के पारिवारिक चित्र और कुछ वो स्थान जहाँ घूमने गयें थे सब मित्र
कुछ धर्म और ज्ञान की बातें जो सबने अपने प्रोफाइल पर थे बाटें
मैने भी कुछ पर कमेंट डाले और कई सारों को like भी किया
कुछ को अपने प्रोफाइल पर share किया और बहुतों को reply भी किया
आँख खुली तो देखा मेरे खुद का अपना कोई भी अपडेट नहीं था
और मेरे खुद के post पर कोई भी like या reply नहीं था
मेरे पिछली रात के सारे post अभी तक like की भीख मांग रहे थे
और बेचारे मेरे profile पर पोस्ट होने के लिये अपनी किस्मत को कोस रहे थे
ख्वाब था शायद, ख्वाब ही होगा
पिछली रात मैं बिना अपना staus update किये ही सो गया था
और मेरे प्रोफाइल पर आज भी कोई like या कमेंट नहीं था

© Rakesh Kumar May 2014


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Life well lived?

When the world presents us with something interesting or frustrating or curious, what we choose to do something about it. Choose to be a creator. Creating something is the perfect way to avoid wasting the precious moments that we have been given. To contribute, to create, to chip in to the world around us and to add our line to the world’s story — that is a life well lived.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Through All of my life goals kept me busy
Path going to them were not so easy
Walking on them occasionally I felt like cry
But whole of my life I never questioned why

Many time I was sacred and confused
people around me also felt I was rude
I never paused to amend my ways
never listened to what people had to say

Its not that I cared any less anyone
I didn't like questioning what I have done
Always tried spoke what i thought and felt
It was others problem how they dealt

Though over a period I started feeling pain
Whole of my looking for green pastures and rain
There is flame still burning inside
But when i say enough to let it die
I have been playing till now cold and tired
Time is not far away when it will expired

Surely my life has not been a easy road
Though I have travelled on it most
Occasionally i had fear for road less travelled
but my heart was never contend & settled
the high and low between happiness and sorrow
Again standing up and looking for a new tomorrow

© Rakesh Kumar April 2014

Friday, April 04, 2014

घटा आयी सावन की और बादल जोर से बर्षा
फिर भी एक प्यासा पानी को तरसा

हुआ एक सबेरा और सूरज जोर का निकला
फिर भी दिलों का अँधेरा कभी बाहर ना निकला

बेच डाला अपनी सारी  जिंदगी उनकी प्यार  की  आस में
फिर भी उनकी दिल पाने  कि कीमत कम निकला

गुजर गयी ज़िन्दगी एक मन्ज़िल कि चाह में
फिर भी उनका रास्ता ज़िन्दगी से दूर निकला

©Rakesh Kumar April 2014

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Happy B'day to my Wife..

You are sweet naughty and funny
Life with you is sweet and sunny
High in energy and never felt dry
However ways i must try
You are my best bunny
You are my guide and navigator
You are my life supreme anchor
On this occasion I say how much you mean
Life is not he same since you have been
I wish you path to be full joy and fun
But I want you to keep your daily run
Fun and love is all you display
Fulfilled all my wish without any delay
This poem is way to say you happy B'day

© Rakesh Kumar Mar 2014

Sunday, October 13, 2013

मिला था सत्य मुझे...

ऐसा तो नहीं की सत्त्य को पाया नहीं मैने
मिला था सत्य मुझे  कई बार, बार, बार

कभी ये था मेरे ख़ामोशी में था और कभी ये मेरे झल्लाहट में
कभी ये मेरे उन आंसुओं में जो आँखों से नहीं निकल सके
तो कभी ये उन अनकहे सब्दो में भी था जिनको कोई सुन नहीं सका

मिला था सत्य मुझे कई बार, बार, बार
कभी ये उन पलों में था जिन में मैं, मैं नहीं था
और ये उस समय भी था जब सिर्फ मैं ही, मैं था कोई और नही

कभी ये था जब  मुझे सारा जग जीता हुआ लगा था
और कभी ये था जब खोने के लिए कुछ मेरे पास कुछ नहीं था
ये तो  तब भी था जब मेरे पास सिर्फ सवाल ही सवाल थे
और ये इसे तब भी मैने पाया था जब मैं अनुतरित  था

मिला था सत्य मुझे कई बार, बार, बार
इसे मैने  घने अंधेरों में भी पाया था
और उस रौशनी में भी जिसमे मैंने कुछ भी देख नहीं पाया था
ये मेरे विश्वास में भी मिला था और मेरे संदेह में भी मिला था
कभी ये मेरे पूर्णता में था तो कभी मेरे बिखरने में

मिला था सत्य मुझे कई बार, बार, बार
ये आया था मेरे यादों के आइने में
और कुछ भुलाने की कशमकश  में भी 
ये कभी बचपन की कहानियों में के रूप में था 
तो उन सपनो के रूप में भी जो हकीकत से टकरा के चूर हो गए थे
और था उन अंतरात्मा के शब्दों में जिनको मैंने अनसुना कर  दिया था
और पड़ा था मेरे उन मंजिलों के रास्तों में जिन तक मैं कभी पहुँच नहीं पाया

और भी कई रूपों में मिला था सत्य मुझे, कई बार, बार
कई बार मिला था ये मुझे बिखरे हुए कई टुकडो में
पड़ा हुआ निरीह और लाचार कोई पूछने वाला भी नहीं था इसको
और मैंने भी कई बार इसे पहचनाने से इनकार कर दिया था।

(C) Rakesh Kumar  Oct. 2013.

Thursday, August 01, 2013

The 13th Year...

This poem I wrote on completing 13 years of my professional life. Now when  I look back to those year and how they passed by professionally.

First year I was naïve
Didn’t know how to behave in world 
I felt out of a cave
Surrounded by things strange
I was trying to cope with the change

In unknown  city, in unknown place
I was scared and terrified
I was confused about the race
Slowly I learnt to be independence
So many things in life were absent
And I turned into a professional from student

Second year on and I slowly moved on
Life was full of anxiety & stress
Though I did whatever way best
There was recession and nine eleven
But I was in office till evening eleven
I missed all fun and adventure
I was working with so much anger
And I didn’t have time my family call answer

In third year I was doing better
Though many times I found myself in corner
Life was getting bigger and large
I found my self in many thing's charge
Occasionally I found battered and beaten

Forth year I was desperate
Looking for a different climate
So I moved to a different place
Started running another race
Where I experienced life's many face
I was searching life's meaning & intend
A year that defined both beginning and end

Looking for new frontier
Slowly I entered in fifth year
Things were often not what they appear
I was scared and unsure 
With new opportunity I moved to Bangalore
Found myself among different people & culture
Slowly my life began to alter
Searching new meaning to survive
my past was  slowly got archived
Surrounded with friends I was having fun
But deep inside I was looking a place to run

Year sixth started with a fix
Surely I was missing life's tricks
Only work without any perk
I felt myself  as a miserable jerk
Even though moved to Manhattan
I felt my career was broken
I was confused and felt very low
Unable to understand where to go
Life didn’t offer any excitement
All my dreams appeared at a distance

Seventh year I was low in esteem
I had suffered to fullest extreme
However I took a leap high
And found myself landed in the sky 
I joined the job I was looking for one
Found again my passion and fun
Eight and ninth went very quickly
Things were going very smoothly
Travelled to many new places 
my life was passing through beautiful phases
I Completed a decade in profession
Still hungry for many things I had not done
Meanwhile I also found a life partner 
My focus shifted from  job to her.
my destiny was to have a different trend
As all good things in life had come to end

I had to run a new race again
At the end of year ten
With so many things I was surrounded
I felt occasionally hounded
Never belonged to this new culture
Often I found my self In anger 
Among many things I was lost & found
I dozen year and journey unclear
There  was nothing in job to cheer
Last one year life tested in many ways
Felt on my shoulder too much weighs
I was only questioning this phase 
Unable to understand what it mean
And only explanation is what it seem
That this is an effect of year number thirteen

© Rakesh Kumar Aug 2013

Friday, June 28, 2013

Appraisal 2.0

You always did a great work
And your performance was good
Though I have limit whatever I could
But I am happy that here your goal be met

You have completed all your goals
And one day you will play a bigger role
Professionally you have been very strong
And I cant  find you anywhere going wrong

You have been star performer
For every problem you were after
You completed all project
And handled things well
Though I didn't like certain aspects

You were always been busy only working 
And you also lack in social networking
Company motto is collaboration
This is my area of concern and tension
My feedback for you is to take some action
You always look serious and don't ever smile
I also have problem with your look & hairstyle

My advise for you to continue doing good work 
Don't worry about hike in salary and perk
Your are walking on a right track
And I have given you a good feedback
Here your career will shine and nurture
Definitely that will help you to grow further
Company have not perform well this year
Economy future is also not very clear
We lack revenue from this project
Which going to have an affect
With you only I am sharing a secret
That I have been given limited budget
We have got limited promotion and salary hike
I know this is not what you are going to like
That what u deserve have been denied 
But there are chances of a employee cut 
You are not among those whom this policy apply...

(C) Rakesh Kumar July 2013

Fighting With My Own Demon

When I knew answer
But my words were absent
My mouth could not open
And was paralyzed without my action
Then I was fighting with my own demon....

Lost my self in despair and anger
When I could not go any further
Turned myself into useless ashes
My life was full of excuses
Unable to know where to begun
I was fighting with my own demon

When I was hopelessly crying
I thought my end was near and certain
Everywhere tears were rolling down
I appeared only as a clown
Then I was fighting my own demon

When I was scared and terrified
Afraid of my learning to apply
I failed whatever way I tried
People thought I was weaken
But my spirit was not shaken
Then I was fighting with my own demon

When I wandered lonely
In a strange new city
I had company of only a shining sun
Questioning about my fate chosen
Then I was fighting with my own demon

Those night when I could not sleep
Thinking about promises I could not keep
Trying to loosening then chain I was imprisoned
Then I was fighting with my own demon

When my ears were unable to listen
Surrounded with confused wisdom
I could not be what I could become
Then I was fighting with my own demon

When my heart was divided
I escaped to fight and run
No where I felt needed
like an abandoned son
Then I was fighting with my own demon
Many beautiful occasion I blew
When I shouted on you
words were not mine whom I spoken
Then I was fighting with my own demon

Since then till today
Dent I repay
Only I have to pray
While still I am fighting my own demon
(C) Rakesh Kumar July 2013