Instead......

If you are going to birth her not because of love but just to produce, Produce my clone instead.


If you are going to feel disturbed because she is crying as kid, Make me feel disturbed instead.


If you are going to shout at her because she wants something innocently, Shout at me instead.


If you are going to stop her simile because she is not serious in difficult situation, Stop my smile instead.


If you are going to make her work rather than educating because she is poor, Make me to work instead.


If you are going to beat her because she is sleeping under stars being tired, Beat me instead.


If you are going to make her unconscious because she drank poisonous water due to thirst. Make me unconscious instead.


If you are going to put her in prison because she stole few bread to satisfy her hunger, Put me in prison instead.



If you are going to make her shiver in winter because she don't have blanket to cover, Make me shiver instead.

If you are going to make her deaf because she want to listen the song she enjoys most, Make me deaf instead.

If you are going to make her blind because she saw injustice and opposed it, Make me blind instead.


If you are going to cut her tongue because she spoke what was in her heart, Cut my tongue instead.


If you are going to look at her body with lust because she doesn't have proper cloth to cover, Look at me instead.


If you are going to cut her hand because she is holding her lover hand publicly, Cut my hand instead.


If you are going to feel jealous because she rejected your love and accepted someone else, Feel jealous about me instead.


If you are going to burn her house because she belong to a different religion, Burn my house instead.


If you are going to humiliate her because she is not beautiful physically, Humiliate me instead.


If you are going to make her broke because she is walking on path of her dream, Broke me instead.


If you going to give her mental trauma because she spoke truth with pride, Traumatized me instead.


If you are going to blister her feet because she has to walk miles to bring water for her family, Blister my feet instead.


If you are going to betray her because she trusted you blindly, Betray me instead.

If you are going to hate her because you could not become what she was and you refused to accept, Hate me instead.


If you are going to bring tears in her eyes because she lost all of her hope, Bring that tears in my eyes instead.


If you are going to break her heart because she has fallen in love with you forever, Break my heart instead.


If you are going to make her cry because she has lost her only son, Make me cry instead.


If you are going to shoot her because she embraced her enemies with affection, Shoot me instead.


If you are going to leave her because she has nothing and sacrificed her all for you, Leave me instead.


If you are going to crush her because her old house came down crumbling in rain, Crush me instead.



If you are going to slip her from the top of high hill because she attempted to reach on top. Make me slipped instead.


If you are going to refuse her color and happiness in life because she is widow, Refuse those to me instead.


If you are going to burn her because she preaches a different God's word, Burn me instead.


If you are going to bleed her because she doesn't have money to cure, Bleed me instead.


If you are going to abdicate her memory because she tried to remember her prime past, Abdicate my memory instead.


If you are going to leave her die on the road because society has rejected her, Leave me to die instead.


If you are going to erase her existence from the earth because she is old, Erase my existence instead.

(© Rakesh Kumar feb 2009)

Courage

If we see and analyze the root cause of all the problem and conflict happening in the society we will find that there lies a 'FEAR' and its behind every problem. e.g. there are conflicts among different religious belief in this world. Why these people are fighting even though there are enough people and space for every religious practice to grow in this world and Neither do any religion teaches hate. Even though now religion is threatening to destroy the peace of this world why?? again the fear. the fear that some one come and puncture the balloon of our belief that we are holding in our heart. We have worked hard to make this balloon to grow now if we allow other belief to grow our own belief will be destroyed. So to avoid lets destroy other belief. similarly for any kind of problem in any relationship the root cause is again fear. Few fear we generally encounter is losing some one or fear that other will not meet our expectation etc or fear that some will hurt us, fear that we will lose trust, person etc. There are so many thing in other humans to enjoy even though if other person is completely different but we destroyes those enjoyment because of certain stupid 'fear' which only exist in our mind. Important thing to note about fear is that we cant fight with it and we must learn to live with it. the more we will fight more bigger it will become.

Few act of courage that we can follow in daily life to make our life more exciting is by asking simple questions

Do we have courage...

To Be ourselves
To Live with an Open Heart
To Live with Integrity
To Let Go
To Challenge our Beliefs/Stories
To Dream Bigger
To Persevere
To Speak Up
To Take Action
To Say No
To Take Responsibility
To Be a Leader

Lets think...................

Five secrets...

Recently i finished a book title 'Five secret you must.... ' The book is based on the author interview with people from different walks of life and their learning and experiences in life. The five secrets what author called and my learning are below.. It its about asking question to ourselves how are we doing? Where are we going?

Be true to yourself (Reflect more)
--Am I kind of person I want to be?
--Am I following my heart?
--What would make tomorrow or next week feel more true to myself?


Leave no regrets (Risk more)
--Am I acting out of fear?
--What it takes for me to be more courageous?
--How I am responding to setback in life?

Become love (Love more)
--Am I making room for family friends relationship?
--I am living with luv and kindness and spreading it in the world?


Live the moment (Enjoy more)
--Am I enjoying fully whatever I am doing?
--Am I really here or just showing up?
--Do I let tomorrow or yesterday to steal my today happiness?

Give more than you take (Return more)
--Am I making world better place even in small way?
--Am I reminding myself that I am making a difference even when I don’t see it?
--Am I kind, generous, and giving this week? How can I be more that way?

Dumb Charades...

Friday was Amit birthday (and my nephew B'day too) and his wife Garima had invited me for surprise b'day party she had arranged for him at her place I reached well on time but bit late in the evening. Other friends were also present with their wives. We played couple of game together like tambula and 'Dum Charades' and the night was full fun. I had hardly played dumb charades before that but to my surprise i was able do very well.

Few movie name given to me were...

Lawaaris, Anuranan--(the meaning of the word is resonance, Bengali) i had never heard about this movie and i was guessing it was not a Hindi movie and after googling i found its a Bengali movie.

And the most difficult movie was 'Happy Days'. I had really tough time explaining to my team members although i was able to do that. This is a some south Indian movie

Now i understand how movie these ladies watches. Few movie from my side were 'Manorama 6 feet under', 'Drohkaal' etc.

The dinner was excellent and I had great time there.

Last but not least Happy B'day to 'Amit' and my nephew.

American Idol- Hero song

Danny Goke sang this song in friday episode(india) of American Idol season 8. Originally it was sang by Mariah Carey.. The lyrics are beautiful and inspiring...

There's a hero if you look inside your heart.
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
and the sorrow that you know will melt away.
And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.
It's a long road when you face the world alone.
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within yourself
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.
And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.
Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Hold on, there will be tomorrow.
In time you'll find the way.
And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.
That a hero lies in you,
that a hero lies in you.

Odyssey.....

I wrote it while i was left with few hours nothing do on this Friday evening.... The whole day was lost in clearing some mess created by others..


Running to reach on difficult hills high
I was not questioning if it was right


Path was deserted and walk was lonely
She was the one thing in my mind only


My Body was bruised with million thorn
Only my shadow was with me to mourn


With tears in eyes I wished her to be near
Only I had was sorrow, pain and fears


My end was near without any hope
I was walking on a broken tightrope


With dying breath and fading eyesight
I still had to walk many million miles


I won't regret why I had begun
For her I could swim across many ocean


I could feel scattering pieces of my heart
My life had become completely apart


My last wish was to see her smile
Just to say her final good bye.





(© Rakesh Kumar)

Moral Policing....

As soon as put my laptop bag and switch on TV( idiot box). It was a news channel and there was some news about Taliban, its rules and killing of journalist. I switched to some other channel there was news about moral policing incident happened few days back in Mangalore. I am wondering what is happening now days. Everyone is dictating others life. People know what other should do but they themselves don't know what they should do. Every other group/ organization is dictating what is correct and moral and what we should do, How should we live, how should we behave, what should i eat or wear, Where should I go, when should i party and how should I express luv. It seems to be difficult time for society and individuals too. There are different principles and way of living. Don't give me reason of preserving culture and heritage. No body can define history, culture and these group don't have authority to preserve that we as individual define our culture. During these kind of crisis its very difficult to decide which side is right and which side is wrong. We cant saying these moral policing group have all the bad people. They may have few good people. see not all people in Ravana or Kaurava side were bad. The important thing is to know the intention because of which these conflict are occurring. And this conflict is basically to decide what is justice. For me freedom is justice and bondage is injustice. These groups which are forcing all bullshit kind of bondage on us is on the side of injustice. The few good people present in these groups don't have clarity of thought and most of time they are confused people. Even in Mahabharata many character were confused. Even though Arjuna was fighting for justice in Mahabharata but he was confused, was not sure before final night of war and Krishna has to come for rescue. Similarly these people don't know what they are doing is going to serve the side of injustice and its natural. Its natural that these groups/people who are trying to put bondage on us and trying to decide our course of life will not say so directly and they will use world like protecting culture and morality and Indian society etc etc.
But this is issue of freedom and which of utmost important and most decisive issue to everyone. I need a society where human freedom can grow and blossom. I don't want a society which put human in so many restriction. Freedom is natural and everybody must have right to have it.
The other term which being misused now a days is equality. Equality is not a natural thing. Nature don't create things equally. they why are we trying to make everyone equal. Not every body can be equal. Every body should have freedom to be himself. Many people destroy freedom under cover of equality and once freedom is gone its very difficult to revive it because those who will destroy it will also destroy its chances for reviving in future too. once its gone its gone for forever. If there is freedom, inequality will be diminished. We cant say same that with freedom equality will come but if we force equality freedom will diminished... for me anything imposed on other's will is similar and close to slavery. This is also problem with current judicial system which trying to make every one equal and its failing. The current legal and judicial system is based on notation of equality that's why freedom is diminishing. Freedom is absolute..
When a free individual enters in a relationship society grows, because only a free mind can be creative. Remember we find better solution to problem only when we feel free and creative not when our boss is standing behind us or something is pressurising us. Can we have a society in prison? Have we ever heard of it. Individual freedom must be preserved for the growth of society and human and we should fight for it.

Decoding Morality, ethics and selfishness Part II

For me being moral consists in taking the actions necessary to sustain and further my life actions -- such as thinking rationally and planning for the future, being honest and having integrity, producing goods or services and trading them with others,judging people rationally (according to the relevant facts) and treating them accordingly, and so on. In a word, we hold that being moral consists in being rationally selfish or egoistic.

Egoism is the morality of non-sacrifice; it rejects every form of human sacrifice—both self-sacrifice and the sacrifice of others—as a matter of principle. It holds that being moral consists in rationally pursuing one’s life-promoting values, neither sacrificing one to others nor sacrificing others to one.

Egoism upholds the principle of non-sacrifice— the idea that one should never surrender a greater value for the sake of a lesser value. This principle is the recognition of the fact that giving up the requirements of one’s life and happiness is inimical to one’s life and happiness. Of course, life requires that we regularly forgo lesser values for the sake of greater ones; however, these are gains, not sacrifices. A sacrifice is the giving up of something that is more important to one’s life and happiness for the sake of something that is less important to one’s life and happiness; thus, it results in a net loss (mostly seen in love case or any normal relationship. and we rate sacrifice highly in our life).

To live, people must pursue values, not give them up (what my friend did actually). According to egoism, if a person pursues his life-serving values and refuses to sacrifice them, he is acting morally and if he does not, he is not acting morally. If he produces values and trades them with others for a profit (whether material or spiritual), he is thereby being moral, he is gaining values on which his life and happiness depend.

On this view, if as software developer i trades my product with others for a profit i am being moral. A volunteer social worker who gives away his time and effort for nothing at all is thereby being immoral. Similarly, a soldier who fights for freedom on the grounds that life without liberty is not worth living (“Give me liberty, or give me death!”) is being moral; one who fights in obedience to an alleged “supernatural” being’s commands is not.

We can see somewhat black-and-white difference between trading values for gains and giving up values for nothing. Egoism is for the first; altruism for the second.
In a way standards of value according to altruism is self-sacrifice which our society rates highly. The standard of value according to a predator is his whim. The standard of value according to hedonism is pleasure or feelings. The standard of value according to rational egoism is the requirements of man’s life.

Thus i must say that individual should live his own life for his own sake. He should live his own life-promoting goals, such as a wonderful career, a passionate romantic relationship,enjoyable recreational activities, great friendships,a rational culture, and a social system that protects his right to do so (i am not sure about my friend goal when he refused his Girlfriend).

I don't agree that our life require any sacrifice. We as a people can live without giving up our minds, our values, our lives, people can live without murdering, assaulting, or defrauding one another. Nor can human sacrifice promote human life or happiness. It can lead only to suffering. If we want to live and be happy, we must neither sacrifice themselves nor sacrifice others; rather, we must pursue life-serving values and respect the rights of others to do the same.

Decoding Morality, ethics and selfishness Part I

I am here not trying to decoding morality and ethics as the title says. I am not a philosopher and any one can find thousand pages and one can spend discussing and deciding what is ethical and moral. I am writing here because of an ethical dilemma one of my friends faced. My friend’s girl friend told him to write and Online question paper on a subject in which friend was specialist. My friend refused it on ethical ground that he can’t write and for someone who is supposed to take exam and said it as kind of cheating and refused it saying its against his values. He made his object of love unhappy on this and now they are not on talking terms. Any way I am not going to be peacemaker and they will sort their problem and hopefully some middle way to avoid conflict between ethics love and fulfilling ones partner expectation. If I take out ethics and moral ground out of their fight it was about simply asking a favour and fulfilling one's expectation which people generally do specially with their family friends and partner? As human we try to reduce our ethics and moral standard where close family friends are involve bozo we tend to think emotionally

Generally we hold values and ethics as a principled guidance for living and achieving happiness in this society. But since human beings are individuals, each with his own body, his own mind, his own life, this standard pertains to human beings as individuals ethics and moral values. Now considering that my friend action was to prove himself more moral and keep himself high on ethical ground was an act of selfishness mixed with ego that was consistent with human nature of proving oneself superior to others. Although in this case on the ground of ethics. Thus I hold this fact that being moral consists in being rationally selfish or egoistic.

Now if I say my friend that he was being selfish in this incident I am sure I am going to lose his friendship, Again here I am not being honest with him and myself but selfish for keeping this friendship intact.

Moving ahead this thinking process another term I often hear is Altruism. According to Wikipedia (just googled i was confused about its exact defn.) its defines as selfless act/concern for the welfare of others.

Altruism, is the morality of self-sacrifice—that is, of serving others at the expense of one’s own life-serving values (where my friend failed in the above case). The basic principle of altruism is that to be moral, an action must be selfless: if a person acts selflessly, he is moral, if he does not, he is not. If he gives up a value for no gain whatsoever, he is being moral, if he gains something from an action, he is not being moral. E.g. if I work for NGO voluntarily in exchange of nothing I am being moral but If as a Software developer I creates a software and sell it for a profit, I am not being moral.

The moral conflict I am facing in this practice is that suppose I am helping someone who is lying on the road on my way due to accident. While helping him I am feeling morally very good( act of knidness) and I feel high about it as it gives me pleasure and feel good feeling. Now, Is my act is selfless? Am I not deriving pleasure (whatsoever) from the misery of some one else. Can some one say my act is selfless? How I am different from a person who is gaining pleasure either by hurting some one or from the one derive by displaying behavior of kindness. Are not these 2 are sides of same coin one is hurting and one is helping, both getting pleasure from misery, one by protecting and one by hurting. Thus for me all actions are taken in one's self interest whether we do. Helping or not, no action is selfless. There is deeply rooted self interest, self pleasure involves in every action whatever we take.. And THIS IS CALLED EGOISM.............

A V-Day with Friends, Fish and 'Dev D'

Most of the my friends( 2 out of very few i have) were requesting to had fish at my place. Which they or rather than I think that i am good (non vegetarian) cook. It was long due from my side also and it has been long time since I have prepared anything specially non vegetarian stuff at my place. I have a cook which do all the daily cooking but simply I love cooking and i didn't want to miss this fun loving exercise and also since long i had invited any one of my friends. So I invited them (Anand and Ankur with their wife) to have lunch at my place on Saturday 14Th Feb at 14:14 PM-2hrs. when I send a mail on Thursday with attached photograph and time mentioned as above they thought that I am inviting them only and 2.14 for 2 hrs and i have some other plan in the evening . But in reality to give the creative touch I wrote mail like that and invited them at 12:14 PM and I came to know only about this misinterpretation when they had planned to come at my place at 2:14 PM.
So my preparation started at late Friday evening as my room was dirty like hell and and it was difficult for anyone to stay for more than 10 min beside me. My Kaamwali disappeared after working 3 days taking 100 bucks 3 weeks back) . I started cleaning exercise which went on till midnight and some how I was able to make my room look good in my opinion only, Also I was able to buy grocery and other kitchen stuffs with Beer and Wine late Friday night.
I got up as usual 6:00 AM in the morning went straight to gym had longer than usual session as it was Saturday and after finishing i went straight to Madiwala market to get some fish. I bargained some prices and was able to get somewhat fresh looking two Rohu at 75/- per kg, of total weight around 3.5 kg and and after cutting and cleaning I proceeded straight to my place.

The most complicated and important and part of preparing fish is cleaning and i don't trust anyone so did it myself thoroughly and slowly till all my satisfaction. As i was midway tap water suddenly dried. This was very unusual and as there is 24hrs supply in this apartment and this happened when i require it most. I went down running ground floor but there it water was coming so i went to first floor to check and found out that one tenant was fixing AquaGuard and water would resume in 10 minutes. I finished fish cleaning and enquire friends about their whereabouts. My cook had already come and I told him to cut some radish, cucumber and onion for salad. Besides normal fish fry that i used to had generally this time i wanted to try some different stuff with curd. I prepared some ginger garlic and onion tomato paste in grinder and mixed it with fish and curd and put in my fry pan with some oil and left it on slow heat to get it brown. By this time Anand has arrived. I must say I was very much satisfied by this new recipe and it was excellent by everyone opinion. Ankur was also their by 14:14 and we started having all of items (Exactly 4 types fish items) with some beer and wine. it was excellent and show went on till 5:30 when we finished our lunch with fish curry and rice.

During this discussion we though of watching movie and and Ankur wife enquire about show timing and availability and luckily we were able to book 5 tickets in 5 minutes. This multiplex is just 15 minute drive from my place and we reached there by 6:30 went to ticket counter got this ticket since show timing was at 7:30 and since we were left with some time we went to 'Home Town' exclusive show room for home interiors and furniture. Since didn't have anything to buy i was only concentrating on other customers and behavior. We came back on time entered in the hall......

The movie DEV D... its based on the classical Devadas story in modern context. and i am not going to review it here and write story about it here. the best part of it was the song 'Emotional Atyachaar' and i simply love this song. and first time in Bangalore during course of this song saw crowd whistling and shouting.. I personally enjoyed this movie specially for being different, more practical and bold.. and all of ourselves must had faced those certain moments in our lives where we find ourselves very close to Devdas character. Its different how mush distant we walked exactly...
The movie was over by 10 PM we went to 'Punjabi Tadka' near by restaurant close by theatre and although i was not much hungry. the palace was crowed but we got the table in 5 minutes and the dinner was over by 11 pm Anand dropped me at my place close to midnight..

Thus my (V)day was over I must say it was very exciting and full of fun...

My Soul...

I destroyed myself somewhere...
Along the way I killed my soul...

Now what is left and existed is me..

Willless,

Passionless,

Emotionless,

Senseless,

Ambitionless,

Goalless...

It was not my urge of self destruction
But their path for my construction.

Now they blame me for what I am...

I am pencil chisel now thrown in dustbin
Which they used to sketch on my own soul...

Now in this dark I am waiting to be dumped
In next morning garbage........

In a slum far way
For a new unknown voyage....

They failed to clone me
Now i am not worth their any usage.....

My last quantum of existence
Losing my identity moment by moment....



(©Rakesh Kumar)

Inner Beauty...

If I look stars in the sky
Not far away but they are shy
I see them constantly shining
but when I go near I find then crying

I see a rose in garden from far
As I walk to it the door was ajar
I smell its fragrance in the breeze
When hold it, its thorn make me freeze

As I go deep in ocean blue
I walk alone without any clue
Path is dark, narrow with curl
There I found most precious pearl

Look is not always parameter to judge
Over a period we find beneath it sludge
To get right view and things we strife
We must look inside them to find true picture in life


(© Rakesh Kumar)

Recession...

We used to think our office is sweet
We used to think no one is cheat
we used to think job is going well
We used to thin company has done well
We used to think we are insulated from recession
We used to think we will get good compensation
We used to think our job is secure
We used to think our culture is pure
But now I cant believe it is gone away
You cant believe how it feel today..

Its so funny we don't get hike this year
Its so funny we don't get bonus this year
Its so funny we don't get promotion this year

But I am not losing sleep any more
As it really doesn't matter to me
This has happened to every one here
This was the place once I wanted to be

Its so funny we don't get hike this year
Its so funny we don't get bonus this year
Its so funny we don't get promotion this year

We really worked very hard last year
The deal discussed was very clear
We had to perform well and after release is done
We will be promoted at the end of year

Its so funny we don't get hike this year
Its so funny we don't get bonus this year
Its so funny we don't get promotion this year

After this news I feel frustrated
The passion I put in work will not be compensated
I am feeling very low and heartbroken
My whole year reward has been eaten

Its so funny we don't get hike this year
Its so funny we don't get bonus this year
Its so funny we don't get promotion this year

But this is not the end of road
I hope things will improve very soon
There is always light at the end of tunnel
And every one will again feel on top of the moon

(© Rakesh Kumar)

Only about You..

You--
The distance far... The shining star

You--
The Broken dream... The Life extreme

You--
The desire .. The fire

You--
The madness ... The endless

You--
The passion... The ambition

You--
The courage… The hostage

You--
The dark... The spark

You--
The breath... The death


(© Rakesh Kumar)

Some times I wonder if..........

This poem I wrote to probe those small moment that occures in life and we ignore them..

Some times I wonder what life would have really been like

If I had not ever seen you...
If I had not found my seat shifted opposite to you.
If I had not met you in dance classes.
If I had known the reason why you draw my attention.
If I had spent few more evening conversation with you.
If I had dropped you when u had asked me to drop, though casually.
If I had ever asked you to go out.
If I had replied you honestly when you had asked meaning of those scrap.
If I had your number when we had planned to go party together.
If I had ever met you on outside office either by luck or by chance.
If I had not stopped my conversation with you.
If I had stopped you when you passed behind me on the footpath.
If I had known why I used to seek you around.
If you had not walked to me and said Hello.
If you had ever shared a bit of me you intention.
If you had ever joined me whenever I had invited on breakfast.
If you had ever replied to my scrap whom I wrote staying late in the night.
If you had ever tried to understand meaning behind them yourself.
If you had told me reason behind your behavour.
If you had ever taken my call.
If you had rever eplied to any one of my communication.
If you had ever joined me for tea whenever I invited.
If you had ever called me for any reason.
If you had known that I used to come early just to say hello.
If you had read the lines I wrote for you.
If you had known that I knew more than what had thought.
If you had ever told me that you disliked me....

Answers I seek...

These were the questions asked in Art of living course....

What do I want in life?
What are my botheration?
When will I be happy?
What do I need to be happy?
What do I take as responsibilities?
What do I not take as responsibilities?
When did I come to this planet?
How long do I propose to stay here?
What do I intend to do the time i am here?
Where am I?
What am I?
Who am I ?
What have I done to bring qualities in others life?
What should I do to bring fulfillment with in me?